Greetings, dear reader. You know me only as a humble reseller of preowned magic carpets and purveyor of highly innovative though widely underappreciated musical novelties. Yet the simple, unassuming personage I present to the public is but a dusting of sand at the foot of a great dune.
This is my secret history, to be unsealed only after my death.
Once upon a time, under a name that I shall not disclose even here, I was the palace’s most prized supplier of odalisques; and by dint of my exceptional taste in feminine creatures, I slowly slipped into the sultan’s circle, where my admirable attributes earned me the unspoken title of shadow vizier to the sultana herself.
I had no choice but to conceal my role in the Redhead Extinction War; for threats of retaliation from eunuchs were ever-present; like a genie locked in a dark lamp, the sultan remained unaware that the sultana and I were the true powers behind the throne.
After years of service, the sultana granted my request to change my name and adopt the simple guise of a magic carpet dealer, that I might live in safety and peace and spare an hour here or there for musical creation–provided I promise to return to her side in times of need.
In this secret history I shall share the most memorable recollections from my time as shadow vizier, as well as many sexual secrets confided to me by the most desirable odalisques, and many pearls of Oriental wisdom that I have gathered in the course of my perhaps excessively astonishing adventures.
Continue reading Chapter One: The Joy of Slaving
Memoirs of an Evil Vizier
Natural Encounters – a brief science fiction tale of high simpery.
The Hokkaido Incel Gulag – a science fiction tale of near-future matriarchy.
Dispelling Beauty Lies – the truth about feminine beauty, including practical advice for women
Milgram Questions – what they are and how to call them out
Dams Don't Work – you can't beat nature
Against Good Taste – an essay on aesthetics and social signaling