Journal

This journal is a daily account of my creative work. It's intended to be accurate, not entertaining. If you decide to read it you'll see how I actually write and compose. It's also freewritten, quite unlike my other writing. The ideas I express here are thoughts going through my head rather than definitive views or even solid opinions. So don't take them too seriously. To prevent AI scraping, older entries require a (free) subscription.

Listen to my most recent piece here:

December 19, 2025

Apologies for the rare updates lately. I haven't written much about it but I've been dealing with uneven health ever since the episode a few weeks ago. This isn't something I'm especially keen to detail here. In fact this whole year has been marked by uneven health and I sincerely hope I can turn this around soon and perform better next year.

In any case, Chapter 2 is underway, a few thousand words are done. Everything is looking good on this new novel. Though, I was a bit happier with how Chapter 1 went. In the first chapter I wrote very carefully whereas in this chapter I adopted the method of freewriting and then returning to the beginning to revise. Once in a while this works, but this wasn't that once and I think it was a mistake. Now I am spending even more time revising and the results aren't quite as sharp. So, I don't intend to do that again unless special circumstances really call for it.

A big disappointment is that I haven't had the energy to get back to music. I'm sad about this but I'm just not there right now. So many disappointments lately. Oh well.

December 12, 2025

Very productive day today. Finished chapter one of the next novel. It's pretty good. However, I haven't plotted this novel out in advance. I'm going to wait until chapter 2 or 3 is done to do that. Will the whole thing be good? Well, I hope so but you never know. So far it is sharp and different. A lot depends on how the characters shape up. I am thinking I may have to return to this chapter and make some tweaks after I can see the character more clearly. But this character is expected to change over the course of the novel so that makes it a bit tough. May need to come back to the start for a second draft later, though I don't like to work that way. Anyway, it's all an undiscovered country.

Would like to get back to writing music half the time. Haven't done anything on that since I was sick about three weeks ago now, which set me back more than I've bothered recording here - lots of brain fog, but it's been getting better very slowly for the last couple weeks. Writing good music is the hardest thing to do, certainly harder than writing good fiction, requires maximum clarity.

December 11, 2025

So, I have been remiss in updating for a while but I have not just been twiddling my thumbs. I added a summary of the beige fiasco near the end of DBL as an indicator of public reaction as well as a brief sequence on mirrors. But, more importantly, I am on the verge of finishing the first chapter of my next novel (in addition to the prelude previously posted). Unfortunately I won't be able to show this to you for a year or more because, as I wrote in a previous entry, I've become convinced that the serial release of my Memoirs caused people to underestimate that novel due to their stupidity about "blogs"=anything published on a personal website on the internet vs "books"=anything published on amazon (ALSO on the internet btw) vs "studies"=anything published in an academic journal even if total garbage (AND, ALSO on the internet, again). This distinction is ridiculous, and who is hosting the publishing website on the internet is irrelevant, especially as amazon and academic journals hardly discriminate; but I can't afford to cut the profits out of such a big project just to prove everyone's retarded, again. This has, in any case, already been proven very thoroughly.

Anyway I haven't yet decided how much I'm going to spill in advance about the topic of this new novel but I will say that I'm writing it in a very lovely new font and that it's a new series almost unrelated to my Memoirs, set in the near future and dealing with beauty.

For those who want a sequel to my Memoirs, well, all you have to do is arrange for the first volume to be popular enough that I can plausibly pay for food while writing the other four projected volumes. If you haven't read it though, don't worry, the first volume stands alone perfectly well and the sequels aren't necessary to enjoy the plot. I would have liked to write a sequel, but the public has other ideas.

Water under the bridge. The new series is going to be great and, hopefully, a lot more popular. The first chapter has shaped up excellently.

December 3, 2025

Feeling rather foggy this morning. Did some revision on the new novel. Added a new passage to The Illusion of Dominance called "The Delusion of Abundance." This is a passage I'd wanted to write for a while but I am not sure whether it over-lengthens this section despite its value. Also discovered that there were a number of broken links in my Trick article. This came about because I expanded the seduction section after writing it, which necessitated a change to the heading letters. In any case, it's fixed now.

Wrote a few pages of an addition to Trust Networks regarding associative cognition but then stopped and reminded myself I need to minimize work on projects that can't possibly pay. I am setting this aside for now, I am not sure what to do with it. There are many things I would like to write and believe have value but can't justify.

It seems the beige mob has died down. Praying for the clarity of mind to make good progress on my novel. Also very happy with my new font, which I have been writing in, though perhaps I should move the letters slightly closer.

December 2, 2025

Ok, time for some reflection on the last few days. First of all, I have been making progress on the new novel. Not fast progress, but good progress. So far it's going in the direction I want. I will write more about this later.

In the meantime, I had a surprise sequence of viral posts for a pretty bizarre reason. I pointed out that beige lingerie is ugly and women should stop wearing it. A pretty commonplace observation, you might think. But girls went wild with anger. Millions of them--literally millions. It was without doubt the most astonishing display of mob stupidity I've ever seen. And having spent too much time on social media over the last few years, I've seen plenty. I mean, the fact that beige bras aren't sexy is completely non-debatable. It's one of the most obvious facts about beauty. Why nobody's wanted to point this out, I don't really understand; or rather, now I do, all too well. Women get locked in place by fragile vanity and lose the ability to self-correct because they're unwilling to acknowledge the slightest mistake. In the past, I think, we had some moral standards that held back this tendency; but modern culture seems to have energized the worst people and given free rein to their worst instincts. They'll shoot the messenger over the absolute smallest things. Like bra color. If I told of the reactions I've just seen in a fictional format, everyone would think I was making up a completely unrealistic nightmare about the worst possible dregs of humanity; and yet, it actually happened. Hateful mob behavior and wild calumny--all because I pointed out the obvious about a bra color!

Anyway, my reaction to this is twofold. First, I've now fully done my duty to promote The Illusion of Dominance, an essay of great public interest. It got around 5,000 clicks, which is enough for the public to spread it by word of mouth if ever they're going to do so. Which I doubt. But, I've done my part. If it doesn't go further I won't take any blame for it.

Second, my skepticism about ever being able to reach the public with anything non-retarded has reached an all-time-high. The fresh surge of attention has not led to an actual surge of interest, due to the quality of that "attention" being very low, albeit probably near the full capacity of the minds in question. The public is simply much more retarded than even my most extravagant attempts to overestimate their retardation. I would go so far as to say that it's actually not possible for me to overestimate the stupidity of the public. I seem to lack the necessary instinct for hyperbole. (The public is more wicked than I expected too; but I haven't given up on properly calibrating that particular estimate.) In any case, all this casts a heavy shadow over any future projects, including the new novel, envisioned to be popular, or rather popular enough to be profitable. But, I am moving forward with it anyway, as I don't have good alternatives except to hang it up. A strange fate.

I have, by the way, written some notes for a brief addition to Trust Networks regarding the common man's habit of thinking by association rather than reasoning. This, I've realized, is a key reason why I've proven incapable of overestimating the stupidity of the public. Not sure when I will put these notes into proper form.

November 27, 2025

I'm in the stage of feeling out the main character for my new novel and trying to find her voice. Also I have still been sick which has wasted part of every day. Beyond that, not sure why I haven't been updating this journal but I will try to do better. I am making real albeit slow headway on chapter one.

November 22, 2025

Ok, now we're getting somewhere.

After wrestling the rest of last night and also this morning with fonts, I finally came up with a solution I liked. When I wrote the previous entry I'd almost settled on a dumbed-down web version of centaur and then when I saw it with blocks of text from my upcoming novel I just thought it was too boring and not distinctive enough, albeit serviceable if I couldn't find better. Next best alternative was a renaissance-styled font that had some character but I felt was less than perfectly suited to the story. I'd gone through pretty much all two thousand google fonts without finding better but I just don't like to give up with such a mediocre solution as picking between these two. I ended up solving this by using html code to create a semi-bold of a font that was too illegible in regular but too thick in bold, and to change the letter spacing as well as they were too far apart, creating a blocky effect in the original version. With these customizations I was able to make a more characterful font work. Then I did some further coding to fine tune the margins and page layout and justify it.

To show the result I'm going to include a (very short) excerpt from my upcoming novel, so, the rest of this post is subscribers only.