Dispelling Beauty Lies: The Truth About Feminine Beauty

Dispelling Beauty Lies: The Truth About Feminine Beauty

The facts about feminine beauty are simple and intuitive, even obvious. But public discussion of the topic is dominated by lies that confuse many women. Oddly enough, intelligent women seem to be the most susceptible. This makes it harder for them to attract mates, subjects them to misguided self-doubts, and even damages their health. Their efforts to improve their appearance are in vain because they aim at the wrong target. All too often they simply give up on a game they could win if they understood the rules. But for fear of being impolite, men never correct their illusions.

In this comprehensive article I’ll dispel the confusion and tell you the straight truth about feminine attractiveness. In the closing section I’ll offer some practical advice.

A warning before you continue: I won't pander to boost your self-esteem. Writing the truth instead of repeating familiar lies will offend some readers. Most women will experience some discomfort. If you're emotionally fragile or psychologically troubled, you should stop here.

However, learning the truth will enable clear-sighted women to improve their appearance and succeed at the game of beauty. This is a prize that's worth the cost. So keep the goal in mind as you read on. If you’re ready for real answers, these are the best you’ll find.

I. Everyone lies
II. Learning from love goddesses
III. The science of sex dolls
IV. The truth about breast size
V. Common and uncommon tastes
VI. Market forces
VII. The most important secret about faces
VIII. Drawing the right conclusions
IX. Reality-based beauty tips

I. Everyone lies

Why are lies about beauty abundant?

Beauty is so socially important that almost everyone has a reason to lie about it.

The fashion industry uses tall, ultra-thin models to impress and intimidate customers. The tactic increases clothing sales, but these models aren’t the best examples of beauty. Similarly, paid beauty writers and influencers make their money from advertising fashion and beauty products. The conflict of interest discourages them from giving accurate advice.

Body-positive influencers sometimes praise the beauty of unhealthy figures in a way that seems disconnected from reality. They expand their audience through flattery and pandering, not honesty. Journalists lie about beauty to bolster their favorite social and political causes, which they consider far more important than the truth.

Men have incentives to lie about what attracts them as well. To be polite, or to flatter. Or even to show their good taste. Pretending not to notice overt sex appeal is a way of signaling refinement and class. It implies that they’re subtler and more perceptive than other men. But it also projects a false picture of what they really want.

Some insecure women deride any concept of beauty that doesn't match what they see in the mirror. Unable to acknowledge their own imperfections, they hope words alone can make them the fairest of all. Even the most beautiful and self-assured women will lie, whether to guard their secrets, to sabotage their competitors, or because they don’t really know the answers themselves.

Are you sure you can trust her?

“What makes a woman attractive?” is a milgram question. In other words, the social penalty for an unflattering answer is much higher than the reward for telling the truth. Because of this we simply can’t trust the answers we receive, even if they’re coming from friends and acquaintances.

In sum, everyone’s lying about beauty. And when you consider the motivations I’ve just listed, it shouldn’t be a surprise. We have very good reasons to lie!

All these lies can carry over into science. Scientific studies of beauty are often based on questionnaires. The scientists just perform a statistical analysis and repackage the results as verified truth. But survey responses on sexual topics are unreliable. Fancy mathematical language might make these studies sound authoritative, but it can't transform false answers into a true one. And there's a limit to how well a handful of numbers can characterize beauty.

Where sexual topics are concerned, even anonymous surveys are unreliable. People may lie outright, or they may give distorted answers because they feel uncomfortable.

So to reveal the truth about feminine attractiveness I won’t rely on surveys or professed opinions. Instead I’ll present direct evidence of men’s real preferences.

Why should men be the ones to judge what's beautiful? My approach here is simple and practical, not philosophical. The main purpose of personal beauty is to attract and satisfy a member of the opposite sex. There are other reasons to be beautiful, but they make a much smaller contribution to human happiness. That means men are the most important judges of feminine beauty, just as women are the most important judges of masculine beauty.

Your professors may have taught you to loathe the "male gaze." This crazy attitude will do you more harm than good. In fact, it's far worse than a beauty lie. You can't win by condemning the judges. Instead you should embrace your potential for beauty, and use it to cultivate a fulfilling romantic and sexual relationship.

Men: believe it or not, you don't have to behead them.

II. Learning from love goddesses

Let’s begin with the most enduring visual examples of feminine beauty: love goddesses. The representations below were created hundreds or even thousands of years apart by groups that spoke different languages and lived in different climates. Despite differences in their style, function, and degree of realism, they share common features.

The love goddesses typically have an hourglass figure, with a small waist, larger than average breasts, and pronounced hips. They have a moderate, healthy weight: fairly slim, but not skinny.

These two Minoan examples are more than three thousand years old.

This Babylonian love goddess is nearly four thousand years old.

Below are erotic odalisque paintings from 19th century America, France, and Italy.

In the next gallery you’ll find a selection of famous cartoons of attractive women that spans several decades: Sleeping Beauty, Jasmine, Jessica Rabbit, and three popular Japanese anime characters.

These images are in some cases exaggerated, but that’s the nature of cartoon art. On the other hand, most paintings and sculptures are sexually understated, partly because they’re made for public display in places where it would be inappropriate to inspire lust, and partly because unrestrained sex appeal would dominate men's attention and distract them from subtler elements of the artwork. Nevertheless, the cartoons, paintings, and sculptures of love goddesses share the same salient characteristics.

Cultural and regional variations do exist, but are smaller than you might assume. For instance, the ideal women preferred by American and Japanese men are more similar than real American and Japanese women!

Finally, here are three of the goddesses juxtaposed with human models.

So love goddesses and archetypes of beauty follow a definite pattern. On the other hand, they aren't truly identical. For instance, the Venus de Milo doesn't have the small waist evident in all the other examples. And we can't rule out the possibility that current tastes differ from traditional ones. To reliably determine what men find attractive today, we'll have to examine more evidence.

III. The science of sex dolls

If men won’t tell the truth when asked what they find attractive, how can we ever know? One way is to look at what they buy in secret when they're free to order exactly what they want. I’ve researched sex doll inventories at four online stores. Here are the results.

In mathematical terms, the most popular sex dolls have an average waist to bust ratio of 0.61, and an average waist to hip ratio of 0.61 too. In normal bust-waist-hips clothing measurements, that’s equivalent to 39-24-39. By contrast, the average Victoria’s Secret model has a waist to bust ratio of 0.75, a waist to hip ratio of 0.71, and clothing measurements of 32-24-34.

In plain language, the majority of men choose dolls with far more pronounced curves than lingerie models.

As you can see, the typical sex doll resembles the example images in the previous section, while the runway model is distinctly different: not only thinner, but also narrower at both the hips and chest. The runway model's greater height also causes her body to seem more elongated.

The differences are evident from the rear as well. In addition to wider hips, the typical sex doll has far thicker buttocks and thighs than a runway model, with no thigh gap. The overall appearance is rounded instead of flat.

Sex dolls might be inherently tawdry, but the example below shows their basic shape is both beautiful and respectable in a woman with the right clothing and presentation, even when judged by very conservative standards. In fact, sex dolls are much closer to the classic female figure of traditional painting than fashion models are.

You can see the same shape in these photos of vintage actress Sophia Loren, who measures 38-24-38. Her figure is beautiful and elegant, not trashy or cheap. She looks good in many different styles, including formal and business attire.

How can we confirm our observations? Let's consider erotic drawings. This is another case where men can choose exactly what they want, privately and without compromises.

The imaginary proportions of fictional women in manga and anime intended to appeal to men are strikingly similar to those of sex dolls. Fourteen female characters selected from the most popular erotic animes have a purported median waist to bust ratio of 0.62 and a median waist to hip ratio of 0.64, equivalent to clothing measurements of 39-24-37. Of course, the drawings themselves can be far more outlandish than these imaginary numbers, but the replication is interesting nonetheless. You can see an example figure below.

This character has fictional measurements equivalent to 40-24-38.

The rear view of popular erotic anime girls also confirms our observations. Just like sex dolls, their legs have a rounded shape and no thigh gap. They're thicker than many women expect.

It's important to understand that sex dolls actually give us a more accurate picture of male preferences than real glamour models. That’s because if men prefer multiple uncorrelated traits on the tail of the distribution in the female population, even the best real models will necessarily be a compromise with the mean. This phenomenon is a consequence of statistical laws, not male desire, and it leads us to underestimate the demand for rare traits.

So real glamour models can indicate the direction of male preferences, but not their extent. Imaginary women aren’t subject to the same limitation. This makes them especially useful for answering our next question.

IV. The truth about breast size

Women frequently ask: what breast size do men really prefer? Of all the questions about attractiveness, this is the one where men are most likely to lie when asked directly. In fact, they lie so often that some women begin to doubt the obvious answer.

This anecdote shouldn't be surprising. Men lie to flatter you, and those with extreme tastes are the most likely to lie.

A professor thoroughly reviewed the scientific research on size preferences for a major periodical. He concluded that men prefer average breasts, and women are fooling themselves into believing size matters.

Some girls might be inclined to believe intellectual authorities like this professor instead of stereotypes and common sense. But they shouldn't. He's wrong.

Once again we can learn the truth if we look at what men actually choose in private. A large online sex doll retailer categorizes their dolls by breast size. The frequency of these sizes is as follows:

Frequency of breast sizes at a large online sex doll retailer. 21% small, 27% medium, 37% large, 14% huge (n=971). “Small” refers to a B-cup or less. For visual examples, see the next gallery.

Note that the terminology they use is misleading, since “small” refers to the average size of a slim woman, and "medium" is already large by everyday standards. That means around 80% of men choose what we normally call big breasts. Here are examples of each size according to the retailer's classification.

A second retailer categorizes dolls by cup size. The distribution of their inventory is visualized in the next graph. The result is essentially the same, but we can add a few additional details to our observations:

  • Only 2% of men want an A-cup.
  • 90% of men want more than a B-cup.
  • 78% of men want "large" breasts (D-cup or more).
  • The average man wants an E- or F-cup.
  • 43% of men want a G-cup or more.

Below you'll find similar data drawn from an anime image site, once again followed by examples of each size. Men's order of preference is exactly the same as above. However, among this audience "large" breasts have an even bigger advantage over the other sizes.

Breast sizes of the most popular anime images (n=182) in a very extensive archive (n=1,654,169) over a 30-day period. 14% small, 21% medium, 59% large, 5% huge. For visual examples, see the next gallery.

Cartoons are prone to exaggeration, so we can't assume these translate directly to reality. Nor should we assume they don't. Fortunately exactness isn't necessary for our purposes here.

From the evidence above we can draw three reliable conclusions that will hold even if our data is imprecise. First, male preferences for breast size vary a great deal. Some men prefer small breasts, others enormous.

Women have no innate appreciation for this look, so they typically underestimate its value to men.

Second, the demand for larger sizes is much greater than the supply. The average male already prefers a size rarely found in nature, and the gap between supply and demand increases with size, without any practical limit. This means that “bigger is better” is true in an economic sense even if it isn’t true in an absolute sense. In simple terms, the most buxom women are highly valued because there aren’t enough of them to go around, not because all men prefer them.

It sounds paradoxical, but despite being the least popular, enormous breasts like these are actually the most valuable.

Third, the median preference is broadly similar to the size we’ve seen in earlier examples, and conforms to well-known stereotypes. It’s also close to the size of common glamour models like “page 3” girls or centerfolds. In fact, some vintage centerfolds (NSFW) are larger than most sex dolls, despite the extreme rarity of this size in the general population. So are these storefront mannequins.

When we consider both overall clothing measurements and bust size, here’s what the median sex doll looks like:

“Miss Average”

You might be tempted to dismiss these conclusions because they're derived from an analysis of sex dolls and anime girls. So as an additional piece of evidence I’ll draw your attention to the top 50 uncensored image search results for “best breasts” (NSFW). This search was conducted anonymously using Tor to avoid contaminating the results with any past history. Most of the images are similar to the median sex doll shown above, and around 80% have more than a C-cup. A search for older images yields the very same result. This article may draw on imaginary women, but the conclusions are quite real.

Some can't accept the fact that a substantial majority of men prefer well endowed women. Feeling their self-esteem is at stake, they resort to flimsy fallback positions. The most popular of these is “But rich men prefer small breasts.” This is no more plausible than the claim that rich women prefer poorly endowed men. If women with wealthy husbands really believed it, they'd hire maids with double-Ds to protect their marriages. But they don't.

The most popular erotic anime image on the day these words were written. The perfect maid to keep your wealthy husband faithful?

It's easy to explain the supposed class difference in breast size preference. Some upper-class men feign indifference to the obvious in order to signal their refinement. Then flat-chested women who fear they can't compete on the basis of sex appeal amplify the claim to stigmatize a trait they don't possess and slander their competitors as peasants. They're all lying for their own gain.

Common sense, stereotypes, search results, sex dolls, anime girls, and centerfolds all agree. It doesn't matter if men deny it to be polite or to impress you with their refinement. The evidence they're attracted to large breasts is overwhelming. In practice, bigger is better.

If you're poorly endowed, don't despair. There are many elements of beauty, and breast size is only one of them. Later in this article I'll offer some words of encouragement, and also discuss whether cosmetic surgery might be a viable option.

V. Common and uncommon tastes

The diverse examples we’ve examined so far point toward a common male taste. This common taste is remarkably consistent between times and places.

To summarize, most men are attracted to women with a small waist, large breasts, a rounded rear, and prominent hips. They prefer women who have pronounced curves but aren’t overweight or obese. There is no evidence they favor the extreme thinness and tall, elongated figure of fashion models.

In fact, the shape preferred by men is strikingly different from the shape of fashion models.

Above center: a popular glamour model. Above left and right: two of Vogue’s “top fifteen models.”

The average woman is also strikingly different from fashion models, and resembles a sex doll more than a runway model, as the following table of measurements shows.

- Bust Waist Hips Cup
Average Woman (2021, USA) 45 39 48 E
Average Woman (1951, UK) 37 28 39 B
Typical Sex Doll 39 24 39 F
Standard Runway Model 33 24 34 A

The average woman from 1951 is four or five inches wider than runway models in every measurement. Yet her bust and hips are almost the same as those of sex dolls or anime girls. Many women worry about their hips needlessly. Waist size and cup size are the main factors that set an attractive figure apart from an average one.

Women assume they can see through fashion marketing and other beauty lies, and will claim to know that men like curves. But they're often confused about what "men like curves" really means. They may envision lingerie models in push-up bras, or actresses whose curves fall well short of the proportions men prefer. These media representations of sex appeal aren't accurate.

Note that the drawings above don't simply have larger breasts than the models and actresses, but also wider hips, thicker legs, and higher bodyfat. The same pattern is evident in the images below, which compare typical models for a famous "sexy" lingerie brand to similarly dressed women whom most men would find more appealing.

The gap between women's intuitions about what's attractive and men's actual preferences is most pronounced at the extremes. The unusually curvaceous woman below was rated "hot" by 91% of men, but only 60% of women. To guess what men want, you should use reason, not just intuition. Women consistently underestimate the appeal of feminine curves, so when in doubt, assume that more is more.

One major sex doll retailer sells over a hundred detachable heads, and only a single headless body. This limitation gives them a strong incentive to offer a body with proportions that will please the largest possible number of men and offend the fewest, and gives us a perfect opportunity to visualize the common male taste. You can see it here (NSFW).

So now you have an accurate picture. In fact, this image can serve as a concise summary of our conclusions so far.

The voluptuous hourglass figure preferred by so many men is a well-known stereotype, but oddly excluded from magazines and media that address the topic of fashion and beauty for women. The narrow and skinny ideal that replaces it is both less attainable and less attractive.

Some women feel compelled to make excuses for the errors of the beauty industry. It's Stockholm syndrome. They claim a boyish figure is what women really want, and that rail-thin models are necessary to put clothes on display properly. These defenses are absurd.

It's a verifiable fact that many and perhaps most of the top fashion designers aren't attracted to women. It would be unreasonable to assume this has no impact on their tastes, and also unreasonable to assume their tastes have no influence on their work.

The images below reveal a double standard. While male fashion models have pronounced masculine sexual traits, female fashion models have diminished feminine sexual traits.

By contrast, consider the vintage romance covers below. These novels were written by women and cater to women's fantasies. Some of the covers were painted by women as well. The protagonists resemble sex dolls more than fashion models or actresses.

When they're free to dream their own private dreams, perhaps women too would like to have a curvaceous figure that satisfies the common male taste.

Of course, not all men are looking for an hourglass. Uncommon tastes are quite real. Everyone knows there are some who prefer the petite, girlish look, or the tomboy look, or the extravagantly well-endowed look, even though these tastes aren’t pervasive enough to be reflected in the statues of love goddesses. And a few men really do prefer runway models.

Unfortunately, some writers become too enamored of relativism. They use these real minority tastes to justify the pretense that the norm doesn’t exist and doesn’t matter. Then they go on to claim that everything is beautiful. This lazy attitude is intended to flatter your self-esteem, not help you succeed. You shouldn’t trust it.

VI. Market forces

Beauty might be relative. Does that mean anything goes? Practically speaking, no. Consider supply and demand.

To find and please a mate, it’s advantageous to have traits whose demand exceeds the supply. It’s disadvantageous to have traits whose supply exceeds the demand.

For example, there are more men who prefer a small waist than there are women who have one. So women with a small waist have a relatively easy time finding a mate. In contrast, only a few men prefer obese women. There are far more obese women than there are men who prefer them, so they have a hard time finding a mate. And even if they succeed, they may be treated carelessly, because they're easily replaced. This is the cruelty of mother nature, so don't behead the messenger.

A marriage auction in ancient Babylon.

Some women find the logic of supply and demand too cold and disturbing to accept. But consider the alternatives. If we pretend beauty is objective, we can't explain the variation in tastes. And if we pretend everyone is equally beautiful, we can't explain why some looks are valued more than others. Only an economic analysis respects differences and still accurately captures what we all observe.

While polls aren’t particularly reliable, the poll below gives a reasonable estimate of demand. The added black lines indicate approximate supply. The most advantageous traits are the ones with the biggest gap between these two.

According to the poll, the most advantageous set of traits is: hourglass figure, thin, oversized breasts, bubble butt. Once again, this matches the beauty examples we’ve given above. But the variety evident in the poll also indicates that there’s more than one way to be attractive. It’s not necessary to conform to the majority taste to succeed.

In fact, the appearance desired by the largest number of men isn't always the most advantageous. It's counterintuitive, but some women can have the most success with rare looks the majority of men dislike! In these cases it's actually good to be weird.

Skeptical? The mathematical illustration below shows one way this can happen.

When the supply and demand for degrees of a given trait (e.g. eye size) fit normal curves with different means, it's best to “overshoot” the demand mean unless the demand curve has a much smaller standard deviation. This esoteric beauty tip is for brainy girls only.

If you can't follow this graph, don't worry. Just remember that you don't need to please everyone to be beautiful.

VII. The most important secret about faces

Beauty lies aren't a serious problem when it comes to faces, so I'm not going to include a detailed analysis of facial beauty in this article. Instead I'll tell you the most important secret about faces.

It's no secret that men broadly agree on which faces are pretty and which are ugly. This implies that some underlying elements of facial beauty are universal. However, men aren't just searching for generically pretty faces. In fact, each man prefers a different and sometimes shockingly specific type of face.

I asked people to submit images of four faces they consider particularly attractive. Most chose faces that are unique, but also extremely similar to each other. Often so similar they could be mistaken for sisters, and occasionally so similar they could be mistaken for twins.

You might not believe me yet, but you will after you see the example sets that follow.

Our first respondent chose four girls who look like sisters. The first two could almost be twins, and both of them are wearing glitter. Not just any glitter, but the same colors of glitter.

In the second example set we again have the impression of sisters. The first two are especially alike. When asked about this, the man who selected them replied:

Respondents consistently reported that they'd been unaware the faces they chose were similar. Some had trouble seeing obvious similarities even after they'd been explained. When it comes to our favorite faces, the sense of beauty seems to hamper our objectivity.

The girls in this third set couldn't be mistaken for sisters. In fact, they appear to have different ancestry. But while they're less obviously alike than the previous submissions, they still share common features.

The first two models have the same brow, eyes, cheeks, mouth, jawline, and chin. The fourth model is more similar to the first than she initially appears. When we superimpose photos taken at the same angle, their features match up so exactly that they create the impression of a single face.

And when we put two sets side by side, the differences are stark. It's incredibly easy to tell which faces belong together.

In the next set the first three faces are again similar in shape. They're all facing the camera directly and tilting their heads at the same angle.

The image below superimposes two of them. Although one face is more elongated than the other, their features match.

They're also wearing the same expression. If you examine the previous examples again, you'll notice the faces there are wearing the same expressions too.

We see a slight smile in the first set, a tough glare in the second set, a sad pout in the third set, and a questioning gaze with parted lips in the fourth set.

One respondent included these three photos of women smiling in an identical fashion. The first two also have similar features, similar hairstyles, and similar poses.

Another submission included the two photos above, featuring a unique lopsided grin. The expression doesn't occur in any of the other examples, but this respondent chose it twice.

What's interesting about the next set is that the respondent selected four women from different parts of the world, but still managed to find two with both the same expression and the same face. The second is simply a wider version of the first.

Where facial preferences are concerned, matching features are more consistently important than matching ancestry. You can see another example of this below. Despite different origins, these four faces share very wide cheekbones, the same jaw and chin, the same hair, and noses of the same length.

Some respondents were sensitive to the mood of the images they chose. They submitted high-quality photographs with an artistic color scheme. But the first three faces in the tasteful black, white, and sepia photographs below are no less similar than the blurry selfies we examined earlier. In fact, this attention to aesthetic detail increases the impression of sameness.

You might assume the examples I've selected above are exceptional, but that isn't the case. Similar faces are the norm, and sister faces are common. Only a minority of submissions (10-20%) included four faces that were markedly different. The faces in these eclectic sets are frequently popular celebrities, so it's not unreasonable to imagine that external factors like laziness, the easy availability of photos, or the aura of fame sometimes motivated the choices. Still, we shouldn't rule out the possibility that they reveal genuine preferences. Around one in ten men may not have a "type."

The preceding sections of this article demonstrated that most men share a common taste for the same female body shape. Bodily attractiveness is often as simple as having a smaller waist and larger breasts than other women. This is a very unromantic conclusion that suggests individuality has no relevance to feminine beauty.

Attractive bodies tend to be generic rather than meaningful expressions of individual character.

Below the neck, that conclusion isn't entirely false. Minority tastes do exist, but they're not very specific either. And because of unequal supply and demand, stereotypically desirable traits still end up being the most advantageous in practice.

Where faces are concerned, a much different picture emerges. As we've acknowledged, men usually agree on which faces are ugly and which are pretty. But they aren't just seeking any pretty face. They each have an individual taste for a specific ideal face that very few women match. And the face that's perfect to one man may be quite uninteresting to another. So much so that the man who compiled set three wouldn't bother pursuing any of the women in sets one and two. That's a very significant effect!

At this point you might be thinking, "Fine. I'm convinced men really do have weirdly specific visual tastes. But women aren't like that. Women mainly care about status and narrative."

Not true. Female submissions show the same pattern.

This female respondent submitted three faces that could belong to brothers, as well as a fourth half-brother. The first two are especially close, including the style of facial hair and squinting eyes.

This second female respondent drew on radically different sources but still came up with a complete set of brothers. The second and third faces could almost be twins and are posing at the same angle with the same expression and the same hair.

When submitting these faces she wrote, "It's partially the physical attractiveness, but much more so everything else surrounding them (character, story, status etc.) that makes them stand out."

No objective observer could draw this conclusion. Certainly such factors influenced her selection. But even taking into account their shared ancestry, these are extraordinarily similar faces on a purely visual level. Her self-analysis implies that our unique facial preferences influence us subconsciously.

Fated lovers are actually real?

If we're each seeking specific and uncommon faces, good matches are rare and special, and effectively determined in advance. So the romantic idea that relationships are both individualized and predestined isn't far from the truth. Strangely enough, we go through life completely unaware of this, and invent other justifications for our choices. The right faces seem so meaningful to us that we can't believe we loved them because of an arbitrary visual preference.

Despite the incredible diversity of female faces submitted, fewer than 1% have short hair. Nearly all men agree that short hair is unattractive. Faces without makeup are equally rare.

In sum, to catch a mate it's not enough to be beautiful. You need to match his taste. If someone is indifferent to you, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're plain or have an unlikeable personality. You may just not have the right face for him. In such cases it's best to accept fate and move on.

These facts about faces are important and clear up many mysteries about beauty and romance. They should be made common knowledge. Yet as far as I'm aware, this is the first time they've been systematically explained.

VIII. Drawing the right conclusions

It's unfortunately common for women who read this article to draw the wrong conclusions from it. Realizing they'll never attain the ideal form desired by men, they react by rejecting the ideal, rejecting men, or even rejecting themselves. Women are sensitive to any criticism of their appearance, so this emotional reaction is understandable. But it's also very foolish.

Imperfection is part of being human, not a reason to hate yourself. If you always score 100%, this only means you're being given tests that are too easy.

A beauty ideal actually needs to be unattainable. If it were attainable, it wouldn't be useful for distinguishing between the best potential mates, since all of them would have attained it. Not only is there no shame in falling short of the ideal, it's actually expected that everyone will fall short of the ideal. This is in the nature of things, and not your fault nor men's.

So, what's the right way to use the information you've just learned? By understanding the truth about feminine beauty, you can target your efforts to improve your appearance more accurately and stop wasting effort running in the wrong direction. The truth won't ensure you achieve perfection, but it will help you to get the most out of your innate potential. That's the topic of the next section.

IX. Reality-based beauty tips

Here are a few simple, reality-based beauty tips. Many of them will be familiar. But since you now know the truth about feminine beauty, you can reconsider them with a fresh perspective. The basics of beautification aren’t magic. This advice will work for anyone, including you. (Male readers may want to skip this section and hold on to their illusions.)

Don’t be discouraged because the ideal body of a love goddess is out of reach. Modest improvements still help. Giving up on the game of beauty because you can’t win first place is a mistake. In fact, average-looking girls benefit more from improving their appearance than naturally gifted women do.

It’s also a mistake to rely entirely on your personality and intelligence to sell you as a mate. This is like trying to win a triathlon without learning how to swim. Instead, use your intelligence to improve your appearance. If you follow all the advice below, you might gain three points on the beauty scale. That's the difference between a six and a nine.

You can’t win by brains alone.

1. Diet and exercise.
2. Clothing and fashion.
3. Cosmetics and cosmetic surgery.
4. Hair.
5. Personality and individuality.
6. Beauty and aging.
7. The top seven ways to look more attractive.

1. Diet and exercise.

Excess weight harms your appearance and your health. In fact, weight is the single most important element of beauty under your control. But that doesn’t mean that anorexia or obsessive dieting are advantageous.

Men do prefer a small waist. In fact, smaller is better. However, losing too much weight shrinks your bust and hips more than your waist, and the overall effect becomes negative. The trade-off simply isn't worth it.

The examples in this article show that a healthy, slim weight is best, but not less. Minimizing bodyfat by undereating won't maximize attractiveness. So if you're already healthy and slim, don't obsess over your weight. Women who weren't born with the potential for a 24-inch waist can't get there through brute force.

An ancestral diet and moderate exercise are enough for most women to maintain a healthy weight. Further specifics about diet are uncertain and likely vary from person to person. Some people seem to benefit from eating more protein and less fat (more lean meats), but others do best eating more fat and less protein (more fatty meats and oils). Some people have a high tolerance for carbs, others low. To find out what works for you, you’ll have to experiment over a long period of time. Eliminating carbs entirely for a few months and then gradually adding them back to your diet is a popular technique for finding the right balance. If you need to lose a lot of weight but you’re not sure where to start, you might want to try this first.

Exercise is less important to maintain a healthy weight than diet, but still worth some effort. For aesthetic purposes, a brief but intense strength training workout once or twice a week is sufficient. Extra strength training focused on the glutes might be helpful for women with a flat rear, but there are limits to what it can accomplish. Models with an attractive rear often credit it to exercise, but genetics and surgery are the real causes.

Not the result of exercise.

2. Clothing and fashion.

Because men have such a strong preference for a small waist, you should wear clothes that are fitted at the waist, not loose. This is especially true for women with a "monarchiste" body type. These clothes can be hard to find today, when most of the population is overweight. Stretch fabrics or elastic bands are an easy shortcut solution, but in many cases a tailor is necessary. There are a few exceptions to this rule: very straight and thin women can do well with flowy clothes, and top-heavy women with a relatively thick middle may look best in an empire waist.

Monarchistes like this one need to take special care in their clothing selection.

If you’re socially anxious and wear baggy or poorly fitted clothes to hide your body even though you have a healthy weight, stop! There are better ways to be modest. Wear snug but high-necked shirts, and long skirts that are tightly fitted at the waist. These look modest but still allow people to notice that you have an attractive figure.

Well-fitted clothes can be modest without looking sloppy.

Of course, all things being equal, it’s best to dress to an average degree of modesty in the area where you live, with modifications based on the occasion. You’ll have the most success with good men if your clothing is neither particularly modest nor particularly immodest. It's important to attract the right kind of attention.

Since advertising the obvious has a cheapening effect, well-endowed women should dress a little more modestly than others. This is especially true in everyday and professional circumstances. As a general rule, the more cleavage you can show, the less you should show. Compensate with a proper fit that displays your silhouette. This limitation may seem irritating, but keep in mind that the advantages of attractive curves greatly outweigh the disadvantages.

Contrary to what most beauty magazines, sites, and influencers claim or imply, up-to-the-minute clothing styles aren’t important. The fashion industry makes money by persuading you that you’ll be more beautiful if you buy the newest clothes, but this simply isn’t true. While it would look a little odd to go out in your grandmother’s dress, it doesn’t really matter whether you wear this year’s fashions or last year’s. Just choose clothes that fit, look pleasant, and flatter your body. Don't chase fads. Fashion should be fun, not a source of stress.

These clothes are more than fifty years old and still look excellent.

3. Cosmetics and cosmetic surgery.

Cosmetic surgery is more common than you might assume. Once again, everyone lies. Women who’ve had work done normally deny it. Men are ignorant on the topic. They criticize artificiality, then ogle surgically-enhanced models. Men might claim to care about “naturalness,” but in practice they’d rather see good results. Watch what people do, not what they say.

Most men prefer a breast size that’s rarely found in nature. In fact, it’s almost impossible to resemble some of the beauty examples in this article through natural means. One in twenty-five women now have implants, a number that’s increased steadily over time, and they’re especially common among glamour models who appeal to men. Today it's likely that the majority of slim women with large breasts have had surgical help.

Men are clueless about what's really natural. This model is surgically enhanced and wearing heavy makeup, but still creates a "natural" impression.

I won’t advise you for or against surgery. Weighing the risks is a personal matter. But the truth is, it usually works. Well-executed breast augmentations are difficult to distinguish from the real thing. (Note: all linked images in this section are unclothed). Many of the top search results for “best breasts” are augmented, and some have an openly artificial appearance. For comparison, these vintage centerfolds are good reference examples of the best natural breasts.

Breast augmentation example from a surgeon's website.

The effect of each implant size depends on your starting point as well as your overall body shape, but here you can see common surgical outcomes compared to examples from this article. Contrary to what you might assume, small implants aren’t necessarily more convincing than large ones. However, extreme, oversized implants have a distorted shape and should be avoided.

Seductive spirits from a Buddhist sculpture, circa 200AD.

Articles about breast augmentation usually ignore the reality that male preferences extend far above the popular implant sizes of 300-400cc. Men's median breast size preference seems roughly equivalent to 800cc. A substantial fraction of men prefer twice that or more.

Since rarity increases with size, it would be advantageous to exceed the average preference to meet the unsatisfied demand. But 800cc is at the upper limit for reliable surgical results, and for most women it's simply not worth it to push the limit.

It's not possible for the average woman to achieve the size of this clothing store mannequin and maintain a natural shape.

If your goal is to look as attractive as possible without undue risk, just find a trustworthy plastic surgeon and request the biggest size that can be achieved safely in a single surgery—usually around 600cc, though it varies from person to person. This size looks impressive and still retains a convincing shape.

In practice, many women select smaller implants because they fear retaliation from jealous competitors or excessive attention from men. When choosing a size you should consider your personal comfort level, just as you do when choosing clothes. The examples below show the range of results you can achieve.

Nose and eyelid surgeries are also common, and can be very beneficial for some faces. The model at left has had a nose job as well as a breast augmentation.

In recent years, fat transfer has become increasingly popular. It works quite well in the short term. But since its durability and long-term effects aren't yet clear, I'm reluctant to offer either a firm positive or negative recommendation. If you choose to use this technique, please do your research first.

Today’s professional glamour models take advantage of a wide array of cosmetic technologies that are impractical for the average woman. Typically they won’t admit this in public. You shouldn’t assume you can duplicate their results. One or two well-chosen procedures can give you a full point on the beauty scale, but trying to do too much increases the risk something will go wrong. It's important to use moderation.

You might be surprised, but studies actually show that cosmetic surgery provides lasting increases to happiness. The biggest gains come from breast surgery. However, studies can be wrong, so if you’re considering a procedure, talk first to trustworthy women who have gone through with it. Ask them if they’re glad they did, and ask your doctor to explain the risks. Men tend to give dishonest or uninformed answers, so in most cases you’re better off not listening to them.

Women report much higher long-term satisfaction with boob jobs than nose jobs.

Men’s ignorance about makeup is similar to their ignorance about cosmetic surgery. Don’t be misled. Those who claim to prefer women without makeup actually prefer “natural-looking” makeup, but don’t realize it. The reality is that all women look better in makeup.

Even sex dolls with artificially flawless skin are designed to look like they're wearing makeup.

Fortunately you can get most of the benefits with a simple and efficient routine that doesn’t require hours every day. Makeup techniques are best learned from instructional videos, so I won't go into any detail here.

Heavy Instagram-style makeup is meant to be effective when viewed on a small phone screen. To avoid looking clownish, make sure to tone it down for real life. This example is wearing a little too much eyeshadow.

4. Hair.

The chart below shows the distribution of different hair colors at a major sex doll retailer. Blonde and red hair are both overrepresented compared to their frequency in the general population. So if you intend to dye your hair, you should consider these first. However, the best hair color will obviously depend on your complexion. Note that strange colors like pink or blue are quite unpopular.

Hair length is far more important to men than hair color. Note that not a single beauty example above has short hair. This isn’t an accident. Almost all men dislike short hair. It was nearly absent from their submissions to my favorite faces study.

The shortest hairstyle available at a sex doll retailer that sells over a hundred detachable heads.

A bob can look good on the right person, but it’s a mistake to cut your hair any shorter. There are hardly any exceptions to this rule. If you've been considering a short hairstyle, please stop.

5. Personality and individuality.

As far as beauty is concerned, your personality doesn't matter very much.

This article isn't a complete guide to life or relationships, so if you want to read about personality in a larger context you should look elsewhere. However, you might first ask yourself whether beautiful girls with bland personalities, or even terrible character, really struggle to catch the mates they want.

In fairytales mean and conniving girls always lose, and morally admirable heroines (not pictured) just happen to be more beautiful.

The vast majority of us prefer a physically attractive lover with character flaws to an ugly angel. This is an uncomfortable truth we do our best to ignore.

Women who bring up personality when the topic is beauty are often afraid they can't compete on appearance alone. Shifting the discussion to personality allows them to surreptitiously change the game to one they think they can win. Since the scorekeeping is nebulous, at least they know they can't lose. And as a bonus, they seem "nice" (the most common motive for dishonesty).

This clever trick is counterproductive here, because our goal is to improve your appearance, not measure your overall value. When you're learning to swim you shouldn't excuse the flaws in your stroke by bragging about unrelated strengths.

"But I'm great at embroidery."

Nevertheless, even on a purely visual level, expressing your personality does help a little. More importantly, it makes it easier for the right mate to find you.

It's not necessary to develop a completely individual style, especially below the neck. And while the unique features of your face will often determine which men are interested and which aren't, they're largely out of your control. So get the basics right with the generic beauty techniques we've discussed above, then add some touches of character in the details. You can do this with clothing choices, accessories, or even makeup.

Personality and individuality may have limited relevance to beauty, but this doesn't imply that all women should conform to a single ideal. Appealing to a minority taste can work too. Remember, it doesn't matter if most men are indifferent to you as long as some of them value you highly.

At times the right strategy is simply to make the best of what you already have. But don’t use this as an excuse to neglect basics or maintain unhealthy habits.

6. Beauty and aging.

No one seriously doubts that women are more beautiful when they’re younger. However, the claim that they hit a "wall" at thirty and suddenly turn ugly isn't true. It’s possible for older women to remain attractive, so you shouldn’t give up just because you reach a certain age.

The techniques I’ve mentioned in this article work for older women just as well as younger women, and may even offer older women greater benefits. Careful attention to diet and exercise is essential. Of course, surgery and makeup also help.

The most common beauty mistake among women over forty is adopting a short hairstyle for a “fresh and youthful look.” This almost invariably has the opposite effect. Don't dabble in androgyny when your fertility is fading. Short hair makes middle-aged women look older.

If you can avoid or correct sagging, feminine curves remain a great asset. Here's an admirable example.

Age 54. Long hair and implants work for older women just as well as younger.

Nevertheless, until rejuvenation technology improves, there are limits to what can be achieved, and it’s important to be realistic. Surgery can’t truly reverse aging, and trying too hard to erase the years will do more harm than good.

No woman looks better at forty than at twenty-five, and while you age, the most eligible males are snatched away by other women. If you want the best long-term partner you can get, you shouldn’t waste time. Those who tell you otherwise don’t have your best interests at heart. Find him sooner rather than later, then use modern technology and good health practices to retain your beauty longer.

7. The top seven ways to look more attractive.

To summarize, here's a simplified checklist of the seven most effective ways to look more attractive. These may seem obvious, but hardly any women cover them all.

  1. Maintain a healthy weight.
  2. Wear makeup.
  3. Wear long or medium-length hair.
  4. Wear clothes that fit properly at the waist.
  5. Do strength training focused on the glutes.
  6. Get breast implants if you're comfortable with the risks.
  7. Get a nose job if you have a distinctly bad nose.

Start at the top and work down. Points 1, 4, 5, and 6 will help develop or enhance an hourglass shape. Points 2, 3, and 7 will take care of the rest.

Some women may feel uncomfortable to see implants included here. But breast augmentation can be one of the most effective beauty interventions. Omitting it from the list to make readers feel more comfortable would go against the high-minded principles that motivate this article.

Implants and ruffled skirts with a fitted waist can create an hourglass figure for a woman who might otherwise seem too straight and thin.

You can go beyond these seven points, of course. But you'll quickly run into diminishing returns. One of the most common beauty mistakes is to obsess over irrelevancies. Conventional beauty advice reinforces this mistake by encouraging you to worry about details that don't matter so you buy stuff that doesn't help.

I've kept it simple here for good reason. Get the basics right and don't stress about the rest.


Perverse social dynamics mean that beauty lies will always persist to some degree. But by sharing this article you can help to spread the truth, and help more women to look their best. That’s good for men and women alike. So if you know someone who might benefit from learning the truth about feminine beauty, please send them a link, or better yet, post one on your social media account. If you're a male and don't feel comfortable explaining to women what you find attractive, just show them this article instead.

Unfortunately, the reasoned examination you've read here isn't enough to correct beauty lies on a larger scale. Women's intuitions about feminine beauty are based on the gradual, unconscious assimilation of social cues. By showing young women a vast quantity of fake social cues that are designed to be psychologically potent, modern media has broken their intuitions. It's similar to holding a magnet near a compass.

Only a small minority of women are capable of setting aside these broken intuitions, and their pride, to arrive at the truth. To help the deluded majority a massive social movement would be necessary, strong enough to outweigh both the persuasive power of modern media and the everyday lies men tell for convenience. It would have to rely on propagandistic methods like repetition and signaling, not reason. Such a movement is unlikely to arise any time soon.

“There are sex dolls in that article. It just can't be true. And have you seen the font?”

It may be irritating to watch society stubbornly clinging to beauty lies, but keep in mind that you can turn its errors to your personal advantage.

Today women are taught that it's wrong to make any effort to please the "male gaze." But the male gaze is the most practically important yardstick for feminine beauty. Women who recognize this and learn what men find attractive have an opportunity to snatch the best mates away from their competitors and build stronger, happier, more lasting relationships.

Long hair can be useful as well as beautiful.

The first and most difficult step is to accept and acknowledge your own faults with good grace. Very few can do this! Then, while other women succumb to illusions and narcissistic delusions, you can get ahead by making use of the information I've presented here.

You don't need to convince anyone with words. Men will react to true beauty instinctivelyand you'll win the game that really matters.

Good luck, dear female readers. And now that you’re prepared for your new life as an odalisque, it’s time to travel to the Orient!

An additional note. Some claim there’s a conflict between “beauty” and “hotness,” and one detracts from the other. This is false. “Hotness” complements beauty rather than detracting from it, except at physical extremes that appeal to few men. For the sake of simplicity I don’t bother distinguishing the two in this article.

For the remarkable tale of my wicked rise to almost absolute power, including bonus tips for the plundering and profitable resale of Occidental virgins, read my Memoirs of an Evil Vizier.

You may also enjoy my article on beauty lies in the art world: Against Good Taste.