Dispelling Beauty Lies: The Truth About Feminine Beauty
The facts about feminine beauty are simple and intuitive, even obvious. But public discussion of the topic is dominated by lies that confuse many women. Oddly enough, intelligent women seem to be the most susceptible. This makes it harder for them to attract mates, subjects them to misguided self-doubts, and even damages their health. Their efforts to improve their appearance are in vain because they aim at the wrong target. All too often they simply give up on a game they could win if they understood the rules. But for fear of being impolite, men never correct their illusions.
In this comprehensive article I’ll dispel the confusion and tell you the straight truth about feminine attractiveness. In the closing section I’ll offer some practical advice.
A warning before you continue: I won't pander to boost your self-esteem. Writing the truth instead of repeating familiar lies will offend some readers. Most women will experience some discomfort. If you're emotionally fragile or psychologically troubled, you should stop here.
However, learning the truth will enable clear-sighted women to improve their appearance and succeed at the game of beauty. This is a prize that's worth the cost. So keep the goal in mind as you read on. If you’re ready for real answers, these are the best you’ll find. (Note: if you can't read the font, click the "translate" button above.)
I. Everyone lies
II. Learning from love goddesses
III. The science of sex dolls
IV. The truth about breast size
V. Common and uncommon tastes
VI. Market forces
VII. The most important secret about faces
VIII. A note on masculine beauty
IX. "Beauty" and "hotness"
X. Drawing the right conclusions
XI. Reality-based beauty tips
XII. Answering objections.
I. Everyone lies
Why are lies about beauty abundant?
Beauty is so socially important that almost everyone has a reason to lie about it.
The fashion industry uses tall, ultra-thin models to impress and intimidate customers. The tactic increases clothing sales, but these models aren’t the best examples of beauty. Similarly, paid beauty writers and influencers make their money from advertising fashion and beauty products. The conflict of interest discourages them from giving accurate advice.
Body-positive influencers sometimes praise the beauty of unhealthy figures in a way that seems disconnected from reality. They expand their audience through flattery and pandering, not honesty. Journalists lie about beauty to bolster their favorite social and political causes, which they consider far more important than the truth.
Men have incentives to lie about what attracts them as well. To be polite, or to flatter. Or even to show their good taste. Pretending not to notice overt sex appeal is a way of signaling refinement and class. It implies that they’re subtler and more perceptive than other men. But it also projects a false picture of what they really want.
Some insecure women deride any concept of beauty that doesn't match what they see in the mirror. Unable to acknowledge their own imperfections, they hope words alone can make them the fairest of all. Even the most beautiful and self-assured women will lie, whether to guard their secrets, to sabotage their competitors, or because they don’t really know the answers themselves.
“What makes a woman attractive?” is a milgram question. In other words, the social penalty for an unflattering answer is much higher than the reward for telling the truth. Because of this we simply can’t trust the answers we receive, even if they’re coming from friends and acquaintances.
In sum, everyone’s lying about beauty. And when you consider the motivations I’ve just listed, it shouldn’t be a surprise. We have very good reasons to lie!
All these lies can carry over into science. Scientific studies of beauty are often based on questionnaires. The scientists just perform a statistical analysis and repackage the results as verified truth. But survey responses on sexual topics are unreliable. Fancy mathematical language might make these studies sound authoritative, but it can't transform false answers into a true one. And there's a limit to how well a handful of numbers can characterize beauty.
So to reveal the truth about feminine attractiveness I won’t rely on surveys or professed opinions. Instead I’ll present direct evidence of men’s real preferences.
Why should men be the ones to judge what's beautiful? My approach here is simple and practical, not philosophical. The main purpose of personal beauty is to attract and satisfy a member of the opposite sex. There are other reasons to be beautiful, but they make a much smaller contribution to human happiness. That means men are the most important judges of feminine beauty, just as women are the most important judges of masculine beauty.
Your professors may have taught you to loathe the "male gaze." This crazy attitude will do you more harm than good. In fact, it's far worse than a beauty lie. You can't win by condemning the judges. Instead you should embrace your potential for beauty, and use it to cultivate a fulfilling romantic and sexual relationship.
II. Learning from love goddesses
Let’s begin with the most enduring visual examples of feminine beauty: love goddesses. The representations below were created hundreds or even thousands of years apart by groups that spoke different languages and lived in different climates. Despite differences in their style, function, and degree of realism, they share common features.
The love goddesses typically have an hourglass figure, with a small waist, larger than average breasts, and pronounced hips. They have a moderate, healthy weight: fairly slim, but not skinny.
These two Minoan examples are more than three thousand years old.
This Babylonian love goddess is nearly four thousand years old.
Below are erotic odalisque paintings from 19th century America, France, and Italy.
Rubens is often cited as a counterexample to conventional beauty standards. But his corpulent figures, such as the last image below, are exceptions in a long history of painted love goddesses that fit the general trend.
In the next gallery you’ll find a selection of famous cartoons of attractive women that spans several decades: Sleeping Beauty, Jasmine, Jessica Rabbit, and three popular Japanese anime characters.
These images are in some cases exaggerated, but that’s the nature of cartoon art. On the other hand, most paintings and sculptures are sexually understated, partly because they’re made for public display in places where it would be inappropriate to inspire lust, and partly because unrestrained sex appeal would dominate men's attention and distract them from subtler elements of the artwork.
Despite these limitations, the cartoons, paintings, and sculptures of love goddesses share the same salient characteristics.
Cultural and regional variations do exist, but are smaller than you might assume. For instance, the ideal women preferred by American and Japanese men are more similar than real American and Japanese women!
Finally, here are three of the goddesses juxtaposed with human models.
So love goddesses and archetypes of beauty follow a pattern. However, they're not all identical.
For instance, classical Greek statues like the Venus de Milo don't have the small waist evident in our other examples. Nor do the later Venuses copied from them.
Historical artwork may be compelling, but it's not enough to make an airtight case. Furthermore, we can't rule out the possibility that current tastes differ from traditional ones. To reliably determine what men find attractive today, we'll have to examine more evidence.
III. The science of sex dolls
If men won’t tell the truth when asked what they find attractive, how can we ever know? One way is to look at what they buy in secret when they're free to order exactly what they want. I’ve researched sex doll inventories at four online stores. Here are the results.
In mathematical terms, the most popular sex dolls at the four retailers had a waist to bust ratio of 0.61, and a waist to hip ratio of 0.61 too. In normal bust-waist-hips clothing measurements, that’s equivalent to 39-24-39. To check this number I averaged the measurements of over two hundred sex dolls from the inventory of one retailer. The resulting proportions were 0.65 and 0.61 respectively, equivalent to 37-24-39. By contrast, the average Victoria’s Secret model has a waist to bust ratio of 0.75, a waist to hip ratio of 0.71, and clothing measurements of 32-24-34.
The exact numbers aren't especially important here. In plain language, the majority of men choose dolls with far more pronounced curves than lingerie models.
As you can see, the typical sex doll resembles the example images in the previous section, while the runway model is distinctly different: not only thinner, but also narrower at both the hips and chest. The runway model's greater height also causes her body to seem more elongated.
The differences are evident from the rear as well. In addition to wider hips, the typical sex doll has far thicker buttocks and thighs than a runway model, with no thigh gap. The overall appearance is rounded instead of flat.
Sex dolls might be inherently tawdry, but the example below shows their basic shape is both beautiful and respectable in a woman with the right clothing and presentation, even when judged by very conservative standards. In fact, sex dolls are much closer to the classic female figure of traditional painting than fashion models are.
You can see the same shape in these photos of vintage actress Sophia Loren, who measures 38-24-38. Her figure is classic, beautiful, and elegant, not trashy or cheap. She looks good in many different styles, including formal and business attire.
How can we confirm our observations? Let's consider erotic drawings. This is another case where men can choose exactly what they want, privately and without compromises.
The imaginary proportions of fictional women in manga and anime intended to appeal to men are strikingly similar to those of sex dolls. Fourteen female characters selected from the most popular erotic animes have a purported median waist to bust ratio of 0.62 and a median waist to hip ratio of 0.64, equivalent to clothing measurements of 39-24-37. Of course, the drawings themselves can be far more outlandish than these imaginary numbers. You can see an example figure below.
The rear view of popular erotic anime girls also confirms our observations. Just like sex dolls, their legs have a rounded shape and no thigh gap. They're thicker than many women expect.
It's important to understand that sex dolls actually give us a more accurate picture of male preferences than real glamour models. That’s because if men prefer multiple uncorrelated traits on the tail of the distribution in the female population, even the best real models will necessarily be a compromise with the mean. This phenomenon is a consequence of statistical laws, not male desire, and it leads us to underestimate the demand for rare traits.
So real glamour models can indicate the direction of male preferences, but not their extent. Imaginary women aren’t subject to the same limitation. This makes them especially useful for answering our next question.
IV. The truth about breast size
Women frequently ask: what breast size do men really prefer? Of all the questions about attractiveness, this is the one where men are most likely to lie when asked directly. In fact, they lie so often that some women begin to doubt the obvious answer.
A professor thoroughly reviewed the scientific research on size preferences for a major periodical. He concluded that men prefer average breasts, and women are fooling themselves into believing size matters.
Some girls might be inclined to believe intellectual authorities like this professor instead of stereotypes and common sense. But they shouldn't. He's wrong.
Once again we can learn the truth if we look at what men actually choose in private. A large online sex doll retailer categorizes their dolls by breast size. The frequency of these sizes is as follows:
Note that the terminology they use is misleading, since "small" refers to the average size of a slim woman, and "medium" is already large by everyday standards. That means around 80% of men choose what we normally call big breasts. Here are examples of each size according to the retailer's classification.
A second retailer categorizes dolls by cup size. The distribution of their inventory is visualized in the next graph. The result is essentially the same, but we can add a few additional details to our observations:
- Only 2% of men want an A-cup.
- 90% of men want more than a B-cup.
- 78% of men want "large" breasts (D-cup or more).
- The average man wants an E- or F-cup.
- 43% of men want a G-cup or more.
Below you'll find similar data drawn from an anime image site, once again followed by examples of each size. Men's order of preference is exactly the same as above. However, among this audience "large" breasts have an even bigger advantage over the other sizes.
Cartoons are prone to exaggeration, so we can't assume these translate directly to reality. Nor should we assume they don't. Fortunately exactness isn't necessary for our purposes here.
From the evidence above we can draw three reliable conclusions that will hold even if our data is imprecise. First, male preferences for breast size vary a great deal. Some men prefer small breasts, others enormous.
Second, the demand for larger sizes is much greater than the supply. The average male already prefers a size rarely found in nature, and the gap between supply and demand increases with size, without any practical limit. This means that “bigger is better” is true in an economic sense even if it isn’t true in an absolute sense. In simple terms, the most buxom women are highly valued because there aren’t enough of them to go around, not because all men prefer them.
Third, the median preference is broadly similar to the size we’ve seen in earlier examples, and conforms to well-known stereotypes. It’s also close to the size of common glamour models like “page 3” girls or centerfolds. In fact, some vintage centerfolds (NSFW) are larger than most sex dolls, despite the extreme rarity of this size in the general population. So are these storefront mannequins.
When we consider both overall clothing measurements and bust size, here’s what the median sex doll looks like:
You might be tempted to dismiss these conclusions because they're derived from an analysis of sex dolls and anime girls. So as an additional piece of evidence I’ll draw your attention to the top 50 uncensored image search results for “best breasts” (NSFW). This search was conducted anonymously using Tor to avoid contaminating the results with any past history. Most of the images are similar to the median sex doll shown above, and around 80% have more than a C-cup. A search for older images yields the very same result. This article may draw on imaginary women, but the conclusions are quite real.
Some can't accept the fact that a substantial majority of men prefer well-endowed women. Feeling their self-esteem is at stake, they resort to flimsy fallback positions. The most popular of these is “But rich men prefer small breasts.” This is no more plausible than the claim that rich women prefer poorly endowed men. If women with wealthy husbands really believed it, they'd hire maids with double-Ds to protect their marriages. But they don't.
It's easy to explain the supposed class difference in breast size preference. Status conscious upper-class men feign indifference to the obvious in order to signal their refinement. Then flat-chested women who fear they can't compete on the basis of sex appeal amplify the claim to stigmatize a trait they don't possess and slander their competitors as peasants. They're lying for their own gain. And they're guilty of hypocrisy too, because women's analogous attraction to size is at least as strong as men's.
Common sense, stereotypes, search results, sex dolls, anime girls, and centerfolds all agree. It doesn't matter if men deny it to be polite or to impress you with their refinement. The evidence they're attracted to large breasts is overwhelming. In practice, bigger is better.
So what do "perfect" breasts actually look like? I asked men to submit photos of large breasts with a perfect shape and then vote on their favorites. You can see the five most popular images here (NSFW). Men's top choices look remarkably similar.
If you're poorly endowed, don't despair. There are many elements of beauty, and breast size is only one of them. Later in this article I'll offer some words of encouragement, and also discuss whether cosmetic surgery might be a viable option.
V. Common and uncommon tastes
The diverse examples we’ve examined so far point toward a common male taste. This common taste is remarkably consistent between times and places.
To summarize, most men are attracted to women with a small waist, large breasts, a rounded rear, and prominent hips. They prefer women who have pronounced curves but aren’t overweight or obese. There is no evidence they favor the extreme thinness and tall, elongated figure of fashion models.
In fact, the shape preferred by men is strikingly different from the shape of fashion models.
The average woman is also strikingly different from fashion models, and resembles a sex doll more than a runway model, as the following table of measurements shows.
The average woman from 1951 is four or five inches wider than runway models in every measurement. Yet her bust and hips are almost the same as those of sex dolls or anime girls. Many women worry about their hips needlessly. Waist size and cup size are the main factors that set an attractive figure apart from an average one.
Women assume they can see through fashion marketing and other beauty lies, and will claim to know that men like curves. But they're often confused about what "men like curves" really means. They may envision lingerie models in push-up bras, or actresses whose curves fall well short of the proportions men prefer. These media representations of sex appeal aren't accurate.
Note that the drawings above don't simply have larger breasts than the models and actresses, but also wider hips, thicker legs, and higher bodyfat. The same pattern is evident in the images below, which compare typical models for a famous "sexy" lingerie brand to similarly dressed women whom most men would find more appealing.
The gap between women's intuitions about what's attractive and men's actual preferences is most pronounced at the extremes. The unusually curvaceous woman below was rated "hot" by 91% of men, but only 60% of women. To guess what men want, you should use reason, not just intuition. Women consistently underestimate the appeal of feminine curves, so when in doubt, assume that more is more.
One major sex doll retailer sells over a hundred detachable heads, and only a single headless body. This limitation gives them a strong incentive to offer a body with proportions that will please the largest possible number of men and offend the fewest, and gives us a perfect opportunity to visualize the common male taste. You can see it here (NSFW).
So now you have an accurate picture. In fact, this image can serve as a concise summary of our conclusions so far.
The voluptuous hourglass figure preferred by so many men is a well-known stereotype, but oddly excluded from magazines and media that address the topic of fashion and beauty for women. The narrow and skinny ideal that replaces it is both less attainable and less attractive.
Some women feel compelled to make excuses for the errors of the beauty industry. It's Stockholm syndrome. They claim a boyish figure is what women really want, and that rail-thin models are necessary to put clothes on display properly. These defenses are absurd.
It's a verifiable fact that many and perhaps most of the top fashion designers aren't attracted to women. It would be unreasonable to assume this has no impact on their tastes, and also unreasonable to assume their tastes have no influence on their work.
The images below reveal a double standard. While male fashion models have pronounced masculine sexual traits, female fashion models have diminished feminine sexual traits.
By contrast, consider the vintage romance covers below. These novels were written by women and cater to women's fantasies. Some of the covers were painted by women as well. The protagonists resemble sex dolls more than fashion models or actresses.
The fashion world has created a negative-sum game. It grants women status points for achieving a boyish look that's both taxing to maintain and unattractive to the majority of the population. But when they're free to dream their own private dreams, it seems women would rather have a curvaceous, feminine figure that satisfies the common male taste.
Of course, not all men are looking for an hourglass. Uncommon tastes are quite real. Everyone knows there are some who prefer the petite, girlish look, or the tomboy look, or the extravagantly well-endowed look, even though these tastes aren’t pervasive enough to be reflected in the statues of love goddesses. And a few men really do prefer runway models or Rubenesque figures.
Below you can see a random selection of photorealistic AI-generated images posted on social media under the "#AIgirl" hashtag. While most of them match the common male taste, the remainder cater instead to the minority tastes I've just mentioned.
Unfortunately, some writers become too enamored of relativism. They use these real minority tastes to justify the pretense that the norm doesn’t exist and doesn’t matter. Then they go on to claim that everything is beautiful. This lazy attitude is intended to flatter your self-esteem, not help you succeed. You shouldn’t trust it.
VI. Market forces
Beauty might be relative. Does that mean anything goes? Practically speaking, no. Consider supply and demand.
To catch and please a mate, it’s advantageous to have traits whose demand exceeds the supply. It’s disadvantageous to have traits whose supply exceeds the demand. (Where taste is concerned, the reverse is true. That is, you'll have an easier time getting what you want if there's an oversupply of potential mates who match your taste.)
For example, there are more men who prefer a small waist than there are women who have one. So women with a small waist have a relatively easy time finding a mate. In contrast, only a few men prefer obese women. There are far more obese women than there are men who prefer them, so they have a hard time finding a mate. And even if they succeed, they may be treated carelessly, because they're easily replaced. Don't behead the messenger. This is the cruelty of Mother Nature.
The logic of supply and demand seems too cold and disturbing for some women to accept. But consider the alternatives. If we pretend beauty is objective and universal, we can't explain the variation in tastes. And if we pretend everyone is equally beautiful, we can't explain why some looks are valued more than others. Only an economic analysis respects differences and still accurately captures what we all observe. It's by far the most broad-minded way to make sense of human beauty.
While polls aren’t particularly reliable, the poll below gives a reasonable estimate of overall demand. The added black lines indicate approximate supply. The most advantageous traits are the ones with the biggest gap between these two.
According to the poll, the most advantageous set of traits is: hourglass figure, thin, oversized breasts, bubble butt. Once again, this matches the beauty examples we’ve given above. But the variety evident in the poll also indicates that there’s more than one way to be attractive. It’s not necessary to conform to the majority taste to succeed.
In fact, the appearance desired by the largest number of men isn't always the most advantageous. It's counterintuitive, but some women can have the most success with rare looks the majority of men dislike! In these cases it's actually good to be weird.
Skeptical? The mathematical illustration below shows one way this can happen. If you can't follow this graph, don't worry. Just remember that you don't need to please everyone to be beautiful.
I'll address one additional remark about supply and demand to any men who might be reading.
Men typically try to improve the quality of the mates they can catch by raising the “price” they can afford to pay. That is, by improving themselves, their social position, or their skill at seduction. This is rational on an individual level. But it's actually a zero-sum game for men as a group.
Collectively, men can only catch better mates by improving the supply. In other words, by helping women to be the best they can be. Please keep this in mind before you engage in the battle of the sexes. The best world is a world where everyone wins.
I asked men to send me unclothed reference photos of the best shape and then vote on their submissions. You can see the most popular photos here.
VII. The most important secret about faces
Beauty lies aren't a serious problem when it comes to faces, so I'm not going to include a detailed analysis of facial beauty in this article. Instead I'll tell you the most important secret about faces.
It's no secret that men broadly agree on which faces are pretty and which are ugly. This implies that some underlying elements of facial beauty are universal. However, men aren't just searching for generically pretty faces. In fact, each man prefers a different and sometimes shockingly specific type of face.
I asked people to submit images of four faces they consider particularly attractive. Most chose faces that are unique, but also extremely similar to each other. Often so similar they could be mistaken for sisters, and occasionally so similar they could be mistaken for twins.
You might not believe me yet, but you will after you see the example sets that follow.
Our first respondent chose four girls who look like sisters. The first two could almost be twins, and both of them are wearing glitter. Not just any glitter, but the same colors of glitter.
In the second example set we again have the impression of sisters. The first two are especially alike. When asked about this, the man who selected them replied:
Respondents consistently reported that they'd been unaware the faces they chose were similar. Some had trouble seeing obvious similarities even after they'd been explained. When it comes to our favorite faces, the sense of beauty seems to hamper our objectivity.
The girls in this third set couldn't be mistaken for sisters. In fact, they appear to have different ancestry. But while they're less obviously alike than the previous submissions, they still share common features.
The first two models have the same brow, eyes, cheeks, mouth, jawline, and chin. The fourth model is more similar to the first than she initially appears. When we superimpose photos taken at the same angle, their features match up so exactly that they create the impression of a single face.
And when we put two sets side by side, the differences are stark. It's incredibly easy to tell which faces belong together.
In the next set the first three faces are again similar in shape. They're all facing the camera directly and tilting their heads at the same angle.
The image below superimposes two of them. Although one face is more elongated than the other, their features match.
They're also wearing the same expression. If you examine the previous examples again, you'll notice the faces there are wearing the same expressions too.
We see a slight smile in the first set, a tough glare in the second set, a sad pout in the third set, and a questioning gaze with parted lips in the fourth set.
One respondent included these three photos of women smiling in an identical fashion. The first two also have similar features, similar hairstyles, and similar poses.
Another submission included the two photos above, featuring a unique lopsided grin. The expression doesn't occur in any of the other examples, but this respondent chose it twice.
What's interesting about the next set is that the respondent selected four women from different parts of the world, but still managed to find two with both the same expression and the same face. The second is simply a wider version of the first.
Where facial preferences are concerned, matching features are more consistently important than matching ancestry. You can see another example of this below. Despite different origins, these four faces share very wide cheekbones, the same jaw and chin, the same hair, and noses of the same length.
Some respondents were sensitive to the mood of the images they chose. They submitted high-quality photographs with an artistic color scheme. But the first three faces in the tasteful black, white, and sepia photographs below are no less similar than the blurry selfies we examined earlier. In fact, this attention to aesthetic detail increases the impression of sameness.
You might assume the examples I've selected above are exceptional, but that isn't the case. Similar faces are the norm, and sister faces are common. Only a minority of submissions included four faces that were markedly different.
The faces in eclectic sets are frequently celebrities, so it's not unreasonable to imagine that external factors like laziness, the easy availability of photos, or the aura of fame sometimes motivated the choices. Still, we shouldn't rule out the possibility that they reveal genuine preferences. Some men may not have a "type."
One reader contacted me to say he didn't agree with my theory about faces. He argued the evidence was weak. So I asked him to submit his own set. Here's what he chose.
When I pointed out the similarities between his first two faces, he still disagreed. He told me the hands were a coincidence and the remaining two faces were actually very different, and submitted a new photo of the third face. To his mind, this new photo showed the resemblance was an illusion.
Was he correct? I'll let you be the judge.
The preceding sections of this article demonstrated that most men share a common taste for the same female body shape. Bodily attractiveness is often as simple as having a smaller waist and larger breasts than other women. This is a very unromantic conclusion that suggests individuality has no relevance to feminine beauty.
Below the neck, that conclusion isn't entirely false. Minority tastes do exist, but they're not very specific either. And because of unequal supply and demand, stereotypically desirable traits still end up being the most advantageous in practice.
Where faces are concerned, a much different picture emerges. As we've acknowledged, men usually agree on which faces are ugly and which are pretty. But they aren't just seeking any pretty face. They each have an individual taste for a specific ideal face that very few women match. And the face that's perfect to one man may be quite uninteresting to another. So much so that the man who compiled set three wouldn't bother pursuing any of the women in sets one and two. That's a very significant effect!
At this point you might be thinking, "Fine. I'm convinced men really do have weirdly specific visual tastes. But women aren't like that. Women mainly care about status and narrative."
Not true. Female submissions show the same pattern.
This female respondent submitted three faces that could belong to brothers, as well as a fourth half-brother. The first two are especially close, including the style of facial hair and squinting eyes.
This second female respondent drew on radically different sources but still came up with a complete set of brothers. The second and third faces could almost be twins and are posing at the same angle with the same expression and the same hair.
When submitting these faces she wrote, "It's partially the physical attractiveness, but much more so everything else surrounding them (character, story, status etc.) that makes them stand out."
No objective observer could draw that conclusion. Certainly such factors influenced her selection. But even taking into account their shared ancestry, these are extraordinarily similar faces on a purely visual level. Her self-analysis implies that our unique facial preferences influence us subconsciously.
If we're each seeking specific and uncommon faces, good matches are rare and special, and effectively determined in advance. So the romantic idea that relationships are both individualized and predestined isn't far from the truth. Strangely enough, we go through life completely unaware of this, and invent other justifications for our choices. The right faces seem so meaningful to us that we can't believe we loved them because of an arbitrary visual preference.
In sum, to catch a mate it's not enough to be beautiful. You need to match his taste. If someone is indifferent to you, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're plain or have an unlikeable personality. You may just not have the right face for him. In such cases it's best to accept fate and move on.
These facts about faces are important and clear up many mysteries about beauty and romance. They should be made common knowledge. Yet as far as I'm aware, this is the first time they've been systematically explained.
VIII. A note on masculine beauty
The truth about masculine beauty isn't obscure, and the lies are few in number. There's therefore no special need for an in-depth article on the topic. However, this section will provide useful context for our observations on feminine beauty. You can skip it if you'd like.
Scientific research suggests that height, upper body strength, and penis size are the main factors in masculine bodily attractiveness. This conclusion is corroborated by more reliable sources like stereotypes and the descriptions of attractive male bodies found in romance novels. Naturally a healthy weight is assumed to precede these three factors.
Most women also prefer men who are older than them. In romance novels a fifteen or twenty year age gap is typical, though in surveys women report they'd like a much smaller gap. The optimal age gap may be unclear, but it's important to recognize that most marriages involve a difference of less than five years. Since older men typically desire younger women, they sometimes delude themselves on this point. It's unwise to assume you'll "age like wine."
Men between 19 and 21 are at a distinct disadvantage, because while current laws and customs inhibit them from dating high-school students, they're still below the age preferred by recent female graduates. Be patient and persistent, and don't give in to discouragement. Your day will come.
A common beauty mistake men make is to imagine that raw muscle size is a cure-all. Precisely determining the optimum build is a difficult problem I don't intend to tackle here. If you're weaker than the men shown in this section, adding muscle should improve your attractiveness to the average woman. Even so, it's only one factor among many. Most romance cover models are considerably less bulky than top bodybuilders. And just as some men prefer less curvaceous women, some women prefer more modest muscles. Slim, fit men with other valuable traits can be successful.
Height is so simple that there's very little to say about it. However, men do sometimes overlook the value of relative height. Short men will obviously have more success with short women. Tall men should also keep in mind that their natural advantage is multiplied where tall women are concerned, because these are reluctant to date men of average height. Since they're competing with a smaller pool of suitors, tall men can expect a higher success rate if they make it a priority to approach tall women.
Penis size is a particularly sensitive subject for many men. So in public women will often lie about the size they prefer, dodge the question, or at least understate their tastes. As usual, those with the most extreme tastes are the most likely to lie. Men should forgive them, because they tell the same lies for the same reasons when discussing breast size.
Below you can read a private discussion among women. I'm not presenting this as a typical conversation. It's an anecdotal example intended to shake the preconceptions of men who believe women are less demanding or judgmental than men in their physical preferences. In fact they can be quite brutal.
What penis size do women really prefer? I've gathered data using the same methodology I employed when researching breast size. You can see the results below.
The taste isn't universal, but "large" is clearly the most popular size. For a more precise answer, I manually counted up all the realistic dildos at a single retailer.
The average realistic dildo also measures 5.6" in circumference, 1.9 standard deviations above the global mean of 4.7" (Western mean 4.8").
From this data we can make the following observations:
- Only 1% of women want less than five inches.
- 80% of women want seven inches or more.
- The average woman wants eight inches.
- 33% of women want nine inches or more.
- The average realistic dildo is 2.4" longer and double the volume of the average real penis.
We can't assume these dildo statistics transfer exactly to reality, of course. But we don't need to. The gap is so substantial that larger members will have an economic advantage even if dildo sizes overstate real preferences by a considerable margin. In practice, penis size is another case of bigger is better.
Some will argue that evidence derived from the sex toy business doesn't represent what women really want. Below you can see the results of an anonymous internet poll. Polls are unreliable, but this one gives remarkably similar answers to the research presented above. Romance novels, stereotypes, and even science tell the same basic story. And let's face it: the idea that women are buying much bigger toys than they actually enjoy is pretty implausible.
With cosmetic surgery and good weight management, women can increase their breast size by four cups or more. Men, on the other hand, have essentially no ability to control their size.
So why bother publishing this data? To put an end to hypocrisy, finger-pointing, and denialism about beauty, and show that men and women are more alike in their preferences than is commonly acknowledged. The battle of the sexes is a negative sum game we shouldn't be playing. Put down your rhetorical weapons and try to build mutually fulfilling relationships instead.
Below I've made a composite of these two charts. We can easily see that there's a close analogy between women's penis size preferences and men's breast size preferences. For instance, an A-cup is equivalent to a four-inch penis, a B-cup is equivalent to a five-inch penis, and an H-cup is equivalent to a nine-inch penis. This "translation" may help you to understand and accept the tastes of the opposite sex.
The comparison reveals that both sexes prefer partners who are very far above the mean. That shouldn't be surprising at all. Why wouldn't they? But since humans are flawed and insecure, they rely on lies, complaints, and accusations to cover over uncomfortable truths, no matter how natural and obvious they might be. Women who feel hurt or offended by men's beauty preferences ought to stop and look in the mirror.
A more remarkable conclusion we can draw from this data is that around a third of the people you'll meet today are attracted to extravagant sizes hardly ever found in reality. This applies to both genders. A number of women even want a penis size that's expected to occur in fewer than one out of a hundred billion men.
Some people have trouble accepting that preferences for scarce or impossible traits not only exist, but are normal. It seems to irk their moral sense even more than their pride. What they want is to live in a world where the real is already the ideal, or close to it. But not only is that not the case, it fundamentally can't be the case. I'll explain the reason for this later on.
Poorly endowed men shouldn't obsess over their size. There are many factors that influence attractiveness. A disadvantage in one trait won't prevent you from building a successful relationship. To put this in perspective, consider that a small penis and a flat chest are about equally popular with the opposite sex. But no one believes flat girls can't find love. You can find it too.
In practice, penis size is less important than breast size, because it doesn't affect your clothed appearance. Since advertising is the first and most important step for finding a mate, the practical utility of a trait you can't effectively advertise is rather limited. Never let on that your size bothers you. Instead, project confidence and win her over with other strengths.
Male readers are hoping I'll conclude this section with tricks that will help them to catch women. I'd very much like to. However, the facts compel me to advise fatalism.
Of the three main factors in male bodily attractiveness, only muscular strength is under your control, and even that to a limited degree. Fashions are bland, and makeup is out of the question. There are some effective options for facial cosmetic surgery. But overall, men's ability to improve the appearance they inherited is considerably less than women's.
Men looking for a magic solution to this limitation sometimes turn to pick-up artist “game” (a collection of psychological tricks for seducing women). I won't claim that game is false. But the effect size is limited, and those who peddle it are often guilty of overpromising. The next time you walk down a busy street, observe the couples. They have a similar level of purely physical attractiveness. If psychological tricks could really cancel out a poor appearance, this wouldn't be the case. The exceptions are so rare and noticeable that they prove the rule, and they typically involve large sums of money.
I'll leave men with a short list of advice.
2. Develop your upper body strength.
3. Approach many women and don't take rejection to heart, because it's impossible to know in advance who will particularly like your face.
4. Character does matter. Read romance novels to learn which traits women find attractive. These are not the same as the traits society praises as virtuous.
5. Once you've done the above, accept that the rest is up to fate. Believing you control things you don't is a recipe for unhappiness.
IX. "Beauty" and "hotness"
Some women make a fuss over a purported conflict between platonic “beauty” and visceral “hotness.” They're afraid too much sex appeal will make them less beautiful. They may even fear an overtly attractive body will harm their reputation, whether or not their behavior is virtuous. This is a mistake. It's best to have all the good things together.
For your inspiration, I asked men to send me images they consider both hot and beautiful. You can browse them in the galleries featured in this section.
Platonic beauty and hotness might be distinct. But they don't detract from each other. They complement and enhance each other. “Feminine beauty,” as I discuss it in the rest of this article, comprises both.
Public discussion tends to emphasize platonic beauty over sex appeal because it sounds more respectable. Consequently, an honest account like the one you're now reading will appear to do the reverse.
There are serious disadvantages to having a type of beauty that lacks sex appeal. You'll be put on a pedestal like an antique art object. Praised and even sought after, but not truly desired. You may even become a victim of infidelity. That's not a fulfilling state of affairs. It's in your own self-interest to pursue the full complement of feminine attractiveness.
Other women may try to deter you. But you should be aware they're engaging in intrasexual competition. By convincing you to handicap yourself, they reduce the chance you could poach their mates or potential mates. By denigrating attractive traits, they confuse and demoralize the naturally gifted. Even your friends might do this unconsciously.
The illusion that beauty and hotness are in conflict is partly a result of social norms restricting the acknowledgement of genuine feminine sex appeal—even at a time when sexualization seems ubiquitous. And it's partly a consequence of the statistical probabilities that govern the selection of models. A model chosen for erotically charged traits will likely be average in other traits, and therefore plainer than models selected purely for their facial beauty. The converse is also true.
This might appear to imply a tradeoff or contradiction, but it doesn't. It's just chance.
The notion that there are always tradeoffs between good things is a lie we tell ourselves to support the flattering illusion that our faults are, in some larger sense, not faults at all. But aesthetics isn't a roleplaying game where each player gets a set number of points and distributes them, so that one point here means fewer points elsewhere. Nicer hair doesn't come at the cost of uglier toenails.
This vintage centerfold (NSFW) is a striking example of beautiful eroticism. The model's extravagant chest does no harm to her prettiness, which is photographed in a style reminiscent of pre-Raphaelite painting. There's simply no meaningful tradeoff for being hot.
Take some time to look closely at these galleries of images submitted by men. The makeup, clothes, lighting, and even scenery are aesthetically appealing. Each model has an individual character. Feminine sexual traits are indispensable, of course. But men have a finer and more holistic sensibility than you would assume if you judged their tastes on the basis of today's typically ugly pornography.
Don't let yourself be trapped in an aesthetic Madonna-whore complex. The distinction between platonic beauty and hotness is rarely useful, and best forgotten. Instead, embrace an undivided feminine beauty and enjoy together all the good things life has to offer.
X. Drawing the right conclusions
It's unfortunately common for women who read this article to draw the wrong conclusions from it. Realizing they'll never attain the ideal form desired by men, they react by rejecting the ideal, rejecting men, or even rejecting themselves. Women are sensitive to any criticism of their appearance, so this emotional reaction is understandable. But it's also very foolish.
Imperfection is part of being human, not a reason to hate yourself. If you always get a perfect score, this only means you're being given tests that are too easy.
A beauty ideal actually needs to be unattainable. If it were attainable, it wouldn't be useful for discriminating between the best potential mates, since all of them would have attained it. That's why a gap between the ideal and the real is fundamental to our sense of sexual aesthetics, and not something that can be argued away. At times this manifests itself as a taste for unreachable extremes, the simplest of which we've examined above.
So not only is there no shame in falling short of the ideal, it's actually expected that everyone will fall short in one way or another. This isn't your fault nor men's.
In the present day there's a strong push to deal with human shortcomings by lowering or eliminating ideals and standards. All sorts of sophistical arguments are put forth to accomplish the destruction. This race to the bottom isn't motivated only by the resentment of the least successful. It's also happening because our society has, by and large, forgotten grace. High ideals are more psychologically sustainable when they're accompanied by forgiveness for humans who fail to meet them.
A gap between the ideal and the real is a condition of possibility for our aspirations to make the world a better place. So if the truth about beauty is difficult for you to accept, don't join the mob set on erasing ideals. Don't listen to dishonest flattery you'll never really believe. Instead of lies, seek grace. And remember that love neither requires nor expects perfection.
What's the right way to use the information you've just learned? By understanding the truth about feminine beauty, you can target your efforts to improve your appearance more accurately and stop wasting energy running in the wrong direction. The truth won't ensure you reach the ideal, but it will help you to get the most out of your innate potential. That's the topic of the next section.
XI. Reality-based beauty tips
Here are a few simple, reality-based beauty tips. Many of them will be familiar. But since you now know the truth about feminine beauty, you can reconsider them with a fresh perspective. The basics of beautification aren’t magic. This advice will work for anyone, including you. (Male readers may want to skip this section and hold on to their illusions.)
Don’t be discouraged because the ideal body of a love goddess is out of reach. Modest improvements still help. Giving up on the game of beauty because you can’t win first place is a mistake. In fact, average-looking girls benefit more from improving their appearance than naturally gifted women do.
It’s also a mistake to rely entirely on your personality and intelligence to sell you as a mate. This is like trying to win a triathlon without learning how to swim. Instead, use your intelligence to improve your appearance. If you follow all the advice below, you might gain three points on the beauty scale. That's the difference between a six and a nine.
The stakes are higher now than ever. Today men are increasingly falling victim to "egirls" who hook them with a combination of personal charm, virtual stripteases, and powerful AI effects. While real women have been wasting their time reading Vogue and copying Hollywood celebrities, these online strippers have weaponized the truth about feminine beauty.
They'll use every trick in the book to hack men's brains and trap them in a world of virtual sex and imaginary relationships. Even desirable men are vulnerable. So please don't hold back. Apply the advice below, and beat them at their own game. You'll do us all good.
1. Diet and exercise.
2. Clothing and fashion.
3. Cosmetics and cosmetic surgery.
5. Motion and posture.
6. Personality and individuality.
7. Beauty and aging.
8. The top seven ways to look more attractive.
1. Diet and exercise.
Excess weight harms your appearance and your health. In fact, weight is the single most important element of beauty under your control. But that doesn’t mean that anorexia or obsessive dieting are advantageous.
When men can choose any bodyfat level they want, as in an erotic drawing, they don't choose a skeletal figure. The image below was the most popular drawing of the day on an anime image site.
Men do prefer a small waist. In fact, smaller is better. However, losing too much weight shrinks your bust, hips, and rear more than your waist, and the overall effect becomes negative. The tradeoff simply isn't worth it. You should avoid losing too much weight even if you have breast implants, because extremely low bodyfat will typically make them look more artificial.
The examples in this article show that a healthy, slim weight is best, but not less. Minimizing bodyfat by undereating won't maximize attractiveness. So if you're already healthy and slim, don't obsess over your weight. Women who weren't born with the potential for a 24-inch waist can't get there through brute force. The optimal weight for attractiveness ultimately depends on your personal bodyfat distribution, not an arbitrary number you can predetermine.
An ancestral diet and moderate exercise are enough for most women to maintain a healthy weight. Further specifics about diet are uncertain and likely vary from person to person. Some people seem to benefit from eating more protein and less fat (more lean meats), but others do best eating more fat and less protein (more fatty meats and oils). Some people have a high tolerance for carbs, others low. Some even thrive on a purely carnivorous diet.
To find out what works for you, you’ll have to experiment over a long period of time. Eliminating carbs and seed oils entirely for a few months and then gradually adding them back to your diet is a popular technique for finding the right balance. If you need to lose a lot of weight but you’re not sure where to start, you might want to try this first.
If you struggle with anorexia or body dysmorphia, it's important that you consume regular meals with a good balance of nutrients. Fasting or skipping meals can exacerbate psychological issues and even suppress your appetite, creating a vicious cycle of anxiety and undereating. Eat regularly even if you aren't hungry, and when you find yourself stuck in a mental loop, focus your mind on a distracting activity until it passes. Save the beauty examples from this article and remind yourself that you'll be less attractive if you're too thin.
Exercise is less important to maintain a healthy weight than diet, but still worth some effort. For aesthetic purposes, a brief but intense strength training workout once or twice a week is sufficient.
Extra strength training focused on the glutes is advisable for women with a flat rear, but there are limits to what it can accomplish. Models with a large rear may credit it to exercise, but genetics, good weight management, and surgery are the real causes.
2. Clothing and fashion.
Men don't have X-ray vision, so beautiful women in ill-fitted clothes can actually pass unnoticed for years, which is a very sad thing.
Because men have such a strong preference for a small waist, you should always wear clothes that are fitted at the waist, not loose. This is especially true for women with a monarchiste body type. These clothes can be hard to find today, when most of the population is overweight.
Stretch fabrics or elastic bands are an easy shortcut solution, but sometimes a tailor is necessary. Don't skimp. It's well worth the money to have everything altered to match your personal measurements. In fact, wearing clothes off the rack without having them tailored is the most common reason curvaceous women fail to benefit from their gifts.
There are a few exceptions to the rule: very straight and thin women can do well with flowy clothes, and top-heavy women with a relatively thick middle may look best in an empire waist.
If you’re socially anxious and wear baggy or poorly fitted clothes to hide your body even though you have a healthy weight, stop! There are better ways to be modest. Wear snug but high-necked shirts, and long skirts that are tightly fitted at the waist. These look modest but still allow people to notice that you have an attractive figure.
Of course, all things being equal, it’s best to dress to an average degree of modesty in the area where you live, with modifications based on the occasion. You’ll have the most success with good men if your clothing is neither particularly modest nor particularly immodest. It's important to attract the right kind of attention.
Since advertising the obvious has a cheapening effect, well-endowed women should dress more modestly than others. This is especially true in everyday and professional circumstances. As a general rule, the more cleavage you can show, the less you should show. Compensate with a proper fit that displays your silhouette, and avoid resorting to baggy clothes.
This limitation may seem irritating, but keep in mind that the advantages of attractive curves greatly outweigh the disadvantages. Don't worry, the best men will still notice you even if your fashion options are limited.
The purpose of modest clothing is to signal fidelity by compromising overt sex appeal. This can be a useful way to advertise your value as a long-term mate. However, it needn't prevent you from abandoning modesty to make a sexual impact when the circumstances are appropriate. Many men prefer that you wear provocative clothes in private, but dress conservatively in public.
Contrary to what most beauty magazines, sites, and influencers claim or imply, up-to-the-minute clothing styles aren’t important. The fashion industry makes money by persuading you that you’ll be more beautiful if you buy the newest clothes, but this simply isn’t true. While it would look a little odd to go out in your grandmother’s dress, it doesn’t really matter whether you wear this year’s fashions or last year’s. Just choose clothes that fit, look pleasant, and flatter your body. Don't chase fads. Fashion should be fun, not a source of stress.
Men are typically less enthusiastic about fancy formal dresses and unusual fashions than women are. Provided you follow the guidelines above, it's perfectly acceptable to wear "normal" clothes and leave it at that.
3. Cosmetics and cosmetic surgery.
Cosmetic surgery is more common than you might assume. Once again, everyone lies. Women who’ve had work done normally deny it. Men are ignorant on the topic. They criticize artificiality, then ogle surgically-enhanced models. Men claim to care about “naturalness,” but in practice they’d rather see good results. Watch what people do, not what they say.
Most men prefer a breast size that’s rarely found in nature. In fact, it’s almost impossible to resemble some of the beauty examples in this article through natural means. One in twenty-five women now have implants, a number that’s increased steadily over time, and they’re especially common among glamour models who appeal to men. Today it's likely that the majority of slim women with large breasts have had surgical help.
Why are so many people convinced that cosmetic surgery doesn't work? The worst results are obvious, while the best don't appear surgical at all. Because they stand out the most, people mistakenly assume the worst results are typical. I call this the "gaudy graveyard" fallacy.
I won’t advise you for or against surgery. Weighing the risks is a personal matter. But the truth is, it usually works. In fact, while you'll never hear anyone admit it, a good boob job is the single most powerful way for a slim woman to increase her sex appeal.
Well-executed breast augmentations are difficult to distinguish from the real thing. (All linked images in this section are unclothed). Many of the top search results for “best breasts” are augmented, and some have an openly artificial appearance. For comparison, these vintage centerfolds are excellent reference examples of the best natural breasts.
The effect of each implant size depends on your starting point as well as your overall body shape, but here you can see common surgical outcomes compared to examples from this article. Contrary to what most people assume, small implants aren’t more convincing than large ones. However, extreme, oversized implants have a distorted shape and should be avoided.
Articles about breast augmentation usually ignore the reality that male preferences extend far above the popular implant size of 400cc. Men's median breast size preference seems roughly equivalent to 800cc. A substantial fraction of men prefer twice that or more. This shouldn't come as a surprise. Women can be even more demanding and judgmental about size than men are.
Since rarity increases with size, it would be advantageous to exceed the average preference to meet the unsatisfied demand. But 800cc is at the upper limit for reliable surgical results, and for most women it's simply not worth it to push the limit.
If your goal is to look as attractive as possible without undue risk, just find a trustworthy plastic surgeon and request the biggest size that can be achieved safely in a single surgery—usually around 600cc, though it varies from person to person. This size looks impressive and still retains a convincing shape.
For a guide to good shape, refer to this set of examples. The top row shows photos selected by men as exemplifying perfect shape. Note that some (and possibly all) of these are augmented. The bottom row shows the shape of breasts on sex dolls. The third sex doll has a combination of size and shape that's not attainable in reality.
In practice, many women select smaller implants because they fear retaliation from jealous competitors or excessive attention from men. When choosing a size you should consider your personal comfort level, just as you do when choosing clothes. But keep in mind that some post-op polls suggest most women underestimate the size they want.
The examples below show the range of possible results. It's normally a good idea to dress with a higher neckline after your surgery.
Nose and eyelid surgeries are also common, and can be very beneficial for some faces. The model at left above has had a nose job as well as a breast augmentation.
I'm not going to discuss less popular surgeries or non-surgical procedures, but the omission isn't intended to imply they don't work. My purpose here is to correct widespread misconceptions, not to provide a complete guide to cosmetic surgery.
This article may be dedicated to refuting beauty lies. However, at present there's still an unjustified social stigma surrounding cosmetic procedures in some parts of the world. So if you live in one of these regions and opt for surgery, it may be prudent to lie about it. You can shift the blame for this little crime to the author. I don't mind.
In the future improved medical techniques will surely replace the current ones. But where your body is concerned, innovations need to be treated with caution. Their long-term effects may be unknown. If you choose to use new or recently developed cosmetic technologies, please do your research first.
Today’s professional glamour models take advantage of a wide array of procedures that are impractical for the average woman. Typically they won’t admit this in public. You shouldn’t assume you can afford to duplicate their results. And trying to do too much increases the risk something will go wrong. When in doubt, it's wise to use moderation.
Some women are strangely offended by the assertion that plastic surgery works. They shouldn't be. It means you have the power to change your body if and when you want to. Whatever you decide, the option is liberating.
You might be surprised, but studies actually show that cosmetic surgery provides lasting increases to happiness. The biggest gains come from breast surgery. However, studies can be wrong, so if you’re considering a procedure, talk first to trustworthy women who have gone through with it. Ask them if they’re glad they did, and ask your doctor to explain the risks. Men tend to give dishonest or uninformed answers, so in most cases you’re better off not listening to them.
Men’s ignorance about makeup is similar to their ignorance about surgery. Don’t be misled. Those who claim to prefer women without makeup actually prefer “natural-looking” makeup, but don’t realize it. The reality is that all women look better in makeup. Men's beauty advice is sometimes hard to distinguish from sabotage.
Fortunately you can get most of the benefits with a simple and efficient routine that doesn’t require hours every day. Makeup techniques are best learned from instructional videos, so I won't go into any detail here.
Note that heavy Instagram-style makeup is meant to be effective when viewed on a small phone screen. To avoid looking clownish, make sure to tone it down for real life. The example below is wearing a little too much eyeshadow.
While classic paintings almost never depict beautiful women with a tan, data from sex doll retailers shows that tanned and untanned skin are equally popular with men in the present day. You can decide whether and how much to tan based on your personal style and local conditions. However, excessive sun exposure accelerates aging. For this reason the default choice should be not to tan.
Some people object to all forms of artificial beautification, from surgery, to makeup, to hair dyes. But their arguments fall apart under examination. I refute them in detail in Part III of my essay "Ultrahumanism."
The chart below shows the distribution of different hair colors at a major sex doll retailer. Blonde and red hair are both overrepresented compared to their frequency in the general population. So if you intend to dye your hair, you should consider these first.
However, the best hair color will ultimately depend on your complexion. The famous faces most frequently submitted to my faces survey are actually framed by dark hair. Note that strange colors like pink or blue are quite unpopular.
Hair length is far more important to men than hair color. Not a single beauty example above has short hair! This isn’t an accident. Almost all men dislike short hair. It was nearly absent from their submissions to my favorite faces study.
Below you can see the thirty standard hairstyle options one sex doll manufacturer offers with their full-body dolls. Styles descending below the breasts occur the most frequently. Many women can increase their attractiveness by wearing their hair longer. You might even want to consider growing it out to waist length.
Of course, there's some individual variability. A bob can look good on the right person. But it’s a mistake to cut your hair shorter. There are hardly any exceptions to this rule. If you've been considering a short hairstyle, please stop.
5. Motion and posture.
An attractive woman is more attractive when moving. Some otherwise beautiful women remain very stiff and still. This is a mistake that makes them less appealing. The effect of movement is so strong that many readers will consider the images in this section pornographic, even though they're clothed and no more revealing than those seen earlier in the article. It's impossible to cover the topic properly without such images, which is why no one else does. To provide you with the most useful and accurate information on feminine beauty, I'll go where others fear to tread. If you think they might bother you, please skip to the next section now.
A few women have an excellent intuition for attractive motions. They'll find it ridiculous to hear them spelled out in instructions. But the reality is that the majority of women need to learn. Because of prudishness, conventional beauty advice doesn't explain thoroughly. Men typically aren't aware either, because a good performance creates the illusion of natural spontaneity. They don't spend time to consider that the girls they see on the internet have been coached and rehearsed. And there's nothing wrong with rehearsing. With a little practice, you can create the same illusion.
A small sway as you walk can have a powerful effect on men, especially if your posture is good. A bounce can show off your chest or rear. The example above shows how you can incorporate these into your gait. You don't need extravagant curves for this. Modest curves are enough.
As always, it's important to use moderation in daily life to ensure you attract the right kind of attention. You should match the amount of sway and bounce to the occasion. The minimum dose is the safest, and there's nothing wrong with conservative poise and elegance. But in a dance club or behind closed doors you can be more liberal.
Whether you're walking, standing, or kneeling, the most basic type of attractive motion is a shake or bounce that shows off your curves by causing them to change direction on a slight lag to the rest of your body. This can be done subtly, as in the left image below, or overtly, as in the right image. It goes without saying that the latter is best reserved for private use, but the concept is exactly the same.
The twerking movement being rehearsed in slow motion at the center below is now practiced by large groups in gyms or dance studios. The example shown here is fine. But caution is in order. Despite its popularity, this mass of asses moving with an athletic and almost masculine forcefulness seems grotesque to some men. The left and right images demonstrate that violent movements aren't necessary to be seductive.
Men's negative remarks about strippers and the like may discourage you from trying to copy these examples. But don't take this disdain the wrong way. Context is often what makes the difference between trashy and sexy.
You shouldn't be afraid to use the movements shown here in private. The fraction of men who will react badly is quite small, while the fraction of men who want to see them but feel awkward about asking is much larger. If you cede them to paid entertainers you'll only give the latter more power over men than they deserve. That's not morally pure. In fact, it hurts all of us. So don't be trapped by a misguided sense of shame. In the proper context it's morally righteous to be as sexy as possible.
The main thing good examples have in common is an impression of ease and fluidity. However, even timid motions can be more attractive than stillness, and they sometimes have a charming naivete, as in the right and left images above. A lighthearted mood and sense of fun will help to excuse any clumsiness.
If you're flat and thin with narrow hips, displays of elegance or youthful agility may prove more effective than the type of movement shown above. These are harder to execute and difficult to characterize in writing. Note that runway models aren't reliable exemplars for imitation, because their gaits are sometimes rather aggressive. This is intended to impress you with their confidence so you buy their clothes, not to look good to men.
This is only a small selection from the wide variety of possible movements. It consists of time-tested images that rank near the top of internet search results, and are thus likely to have the broadest appeal to men. But it's not intended to be comprehensive.
I recommend you seek out videos of attractive women with a similar body type and study the way they move in different contexts. Pay special attention to those with a style and mood you like. Then adapt their movements to work for you. Don't try to put together a dance routine. Simple is best. You'll have to do some experimentation to learn what works.
It may feel artificial, but you'll get the fastest results by practicing in a mirror. Start by imitating your favorite from the images here. You can learn it in just minutes, or a few hours at most. That's a better return for your time than any other beauty technique.
Expressive eye motions can also make a valuable contribution. I won't take the time to discuss them in detail here, but do remember to pay attention to the eyes when you watch example videos.
It's true that sophisticated traditional dances are more beautiful and more impressive than any of the body movements shown in this article. But while they require more skill, they don't achieve better results in today's environment. People may be impressed by ballroom dancing, but being impressed and actually caring are not the same thing.
It's common sense that the normal rules of good posture will help you to look your best. The posture shown below is also worth noting in particular. Men prefer to see the rear curled outward and upward, with a concave curve in the lower back, and as a rule erotic drawings and photos present it that way even when no sexual activity is implied, regardless of whether the figure is sitting or standing. Look again at the earlier examples and you'll see it repeated over and over, whenever the perspective is from behind.
High heels encourage good posture, which is an important part of their appeal. They also encourage a bouncing and swaying gait, even if the heels are only two inches high. That's a double win, so to look your best you should wear them whenever you can.
Attractive movements and posture can give you a real advantage over stiff women who look more beautiful than you in a photo. Please don't neglect them.
6. Personality and individuality.
As far as beauty is concerned, your personality doesn't matter very much.
This article isn't a complete guide to life or relationships, so if you want to read about personality in a larger context you should look elsewhere. However, you might first ask yourself whether beautiful girls with bland personalities, or even terrible character, really struggle to catch the mates they want.
The vast majority of us prefer a physically attractive lover with character flaws to an ugly angel. This is an uncomfortable truth we do our best to ignore. But it's actually a good thing. It implies that you don't need to distort your personality or pretend to be someone else to find love. You're free to be yourself.
Women who bring up personality when the topic is beauty are often afraid they can't compete on appearance alone. Shifting the discussion to personality allows them to surreptitiously change the game to one they think they can win. Since the scorekeeping is nebulous, at least they know they can't lose. And as a bonus, they seem "nice" (the most common motive for dishonesty).
This clever trick is counterproductive here, because our goal is to improve your appearance, not measure your value as a human. When you're learning to swim you shouldn't excuse the flaws in your stroke by bragging about unrelated skills.
Nevertheless, even on a purely visual level, expressing your personality does help a little. More importantly, it makes it easier for the right mate to find you.
It's not necessary to develop a completely individual style, especially below the neck. And while the unique features of your face will often determine which men are interested and which aren't, they're largely out of your control. So get the basics right with the generic beauty techniques we've discussed above, then add some touches of character in the details. You can do this with clothing choices, accessories, or even makeup.
Personality and individuality may have limited relevance to beauty, but this doesn't imply that all women should conform to a single ideal. Appealing to a minority taste can work too. Remember, it doesn't matter if most men are indifferent to you as long as some of them value you highly.
At times the right strategy is simply to make the best of what you already have. But don’t use this as an excuse to neglect basics or maintain unhealthy habits.
7. Beauty and aging.
No one seriously doubts that women are more beautiful when they’re younger. However, the claim that they hit a "wall" at thirty and suddenly turn ugly isn't true. It’s possible for older women to remain attractive, so you shouldn’t give up just because you reach a certain age.
The techniques I’ve mentioned in this article work for older women just as well as younger women, and may even offer older women greater benefits. Careful attention to diet and exercise is essential. Of course, makeup and surgery also help.
The most common beauty mistake among women over forty is adopting a short hairstyle for a “fresh and youthful look.” This almost invariably has the opposite effect. Don't dabble in androgyny when your fertility is fading. Short hair makes middle-aged women look older.
Some claim that curves don’t age well. But youthful skin is actually the least durable element of attractiveness. If you avoid or correct sagging, feminine curves remain a great asset. Here's another admirable example.
Nevertheless, there are limits to what can be achieved today, and it’s important to be realistic. Surgery can’t truly reverse aging, and trying too hard to erase the years will do more harm than good. Only genuine rejuvenation technology will get that job done.
Rejuvenation medicine is more plausible than it might sound. Because aging is simply an accumulation of damage, reversing it is no different in principle to repairing an old car. Of course, the cellular machinery in our skin is far more sophisticated than an engine, so the task is quite difficult. But we'll accomplish it one day. And if there's enough public demand, that day may even come soon enough for you to benefit.
For now, however, no woman looks better at forty than at twenty-five. And while you age, the most eligible males are snatched away by other women. If you want the best long-term partner you can get, you shouldn’t waste time. Those who tell you otherwise don’t have your best interests at heart. Find him sooner rather than later, then use modern technology and good health practices to retain your beauty longer.
8. The top seven ways to look more attractive.
To summarize, here's a simplified checklist of the seven most effective ways to look more attractive. These may seem obvious, but hardly any women cover them all.
2. Wear makeup.
3. Wear long hair.
4. Wear clothes that fit properly at the waist.
5. Do strength training focused on the glutes.
6. Get breast implants if you're comfortable with the risks.
7. Get a nose job if you have a distinctly bad nose.
Start at the top and work down. Points 1, 4, 5, and 6 will help develop or enhance an hourglass shape. Points 2, 3, and 7 will take care of the rest.
For a quick and easy bonus point, spend a couple hours (split up into short sessions) practicing the motions most suitable for your body type in a mirror.
Some women may feel uncomfortable to see implants included here. But breast augmentation can be one of the most effective beauty interventions. Omitting it from the list to make readers feel more comfortable would go against the high-minded principles that motivate this article.
You can go beyond these seven points, of course. But you'll quickly run into diminishing returns. One of the most common beauty mistakes is to obsess over irrelevancies. Conventional beauty advice reinforces this mistake by encouraging you to worry about details that don't matter so you buy stuff that doesn't help.
I've kept it simple for good reason. Get the basics right and don't stress about the rest.
XII. Answering objections.
Here I'll directly answer the most common objections to this article. If you're already in agreement, you may want to skip to the next section.
1. “This article objectifies women.”
“The objectification of women” is a harmful meme we should all reject. Why? Because it uses the word “objectify” to conflate two distinct concepts.
1. Being treated like an inanimate thing (dehumanization)
2. Being perceived and acted on by a subject
1 is bad, but 2 can be good. The meme's payload is to denigrate 2 by association with 1.
Because many women enjoy being perceived and acted on, conflating this with dehumanization sets a psychological trap for them. It persuades them that they ought to have moral objections to their own enjoyment, and that conventional relations of male and female are inherently bad.
There's nothing morally wrong with appealing to the male gaze. And you're not psychologically defective if you enjoy it. So when you want to criticize dehumanization, do it explicitly instead of spreading the "objectification" meme. This meme actually hurts women.
Finally, the purpose of this article is to empower women by offering them the truth. Not to dehumanize them. Any reader smarter than a sex doll should be able to understand that I've presented dolls and anime girls as useful examples of men's visual preferences, not as a recommendation to be vapid.
Beautiful, intelligent, wholesome, human, and an object of desire: yes, it's really possible to be all these things at once.
2. “Your conclusions are obvious.” And, “Your conclusions are wrong.”
I agree that the conclusions are obvious. At least partly. Indeed, the first words of this article are, “The facts about feminine beauty are simple and intuitive, even obvious.” However, things that are obvious to some aren't obvious to others. I receive a large volume of negative and even hateful comments denying any of it is true.
Naive readers might find it hard to believe that a single free article, purportedly written in this highly aesthetic font by an Oriental sex slaver, could really provide more accurate and useful information about feminine beauty than the totality of previously published academic research (generated at a cost to the public of eight figures in professorial salaries). Yet in an age dominated by liars, incompetents, and frauds, could it really be otherwise?
The public, moreover, objects to my obvious conclusions vociferously. They can get nasty!
When a set of social media posts summarizing the "obvious" conclusions began to go viral, content moderators shadowbanned them to prevent their spread. Even links to this article have been removed repeatedly.
Today's censors leave unpopular dissent alone to create the illusion of free speech. But when ideas they dislike begin to catch on, they manipulate procedural outcomes to tip the scales against their dissemination and favor their own cherished causes instead. For instance, through the inconsistent application of vague rules. By maintaining plausible deniability in this fashion they can shape society invisibly and pass off the result as the will of the public.
Because we don't compare notes on taboo topics, there can be huge gaps in knowledge that we aren't aware of. So the obvious needs to be stated. And not all of the conclusions in this article are entirely obvious. Most women really don't know some of the key facts explained above. If they did, there'd be no reason to resort to censorship and manipulation to conceal them.
3. “Normal men don't buy sex dolls or look at anime girls. So, your conclusions are invalid.” And, “Normal women don't buy dildos. So, they prove nothing about the size women really prefer.”
It's true that most men don't buy sex dolls. But it's not true that the men who do buy them have aesthetic tastes that differ dramatically from the rest. Read carefully. The data from many sources confirms the same basic conclusions. These sources include not only sex dolls and cartoons, but also statues, paintings, search results, centerfolds, stereotypes, and common sense.
If you're grasping for excuses to dismiss all of it, you're rationalizing because you don't like the answer. And if the median sex doll (shown in this section) seems like an abnormal vision of feminine beauty to you, you should take a step back and rethink.
4. “The love goddess examples in this article are cherry-picked, and they don't prove anything about today.”
Historical representations of feminine beauty aren't random. In fact, they show a definite pattern. As we've discussed, it's not hard to find variations and exceptions. But if you latch on to exceptions and pretend they're the rule, you're making a mistake.
Nevertheless, we live in the present, not the past. Although historical archetypes of beauty can orient us in the right general direction, the contemporary data is more relevant and more reliable. And this contemporary data supports our conclusions.
5. “What about the Venus of Willendorf?”
Obese prehistoric figurines like the 30,000-year-old “Venus of Willendorf” weren't found with a label. Their meaning and function are unknown, and the “Venus” appellation is arbitrary and disputed by scholars. If this is your best evidence against a large collection of love goddesses, your case is very weak indeed.
6. “This entire article is about how men like big boobs, but I don't have/want/like them, therefore you're totally wrong, and also evil. They don't matter at all. Delete your website right now.”
Would you be this angry if I said men like girls with large ears?
No. You wouldn't.
But why not?
7. “You write too positively about makeup, implants, and other cosmetic surgery.”
Beauty isn't a game with rules. But if it were, "cheat to win" would be good advice. Anything less is an unforced surrender to genetic luck.
Breast augmentation is extremely common in glamour models, and more common in the general population than most people suspect. The large majority of women with implants are glad they have them, but keep quiet because of the social stigma. In an article that aims at the truth, it's entirely correct to write positively.
A good set of large implants can give you a substantial advantage, because a significant fraction of men are obsessed with big breasts. They're too polite to tell you.
The primary material reason not to go under the knife is the risk of complications or a botched surgery. This risk is real, and it has to be weighed individually. That's why I highlight successful cosmetic surgery, but stop short of recommending it for all women.
8. “The beauty standard described in this article is heteronormative.”
9. “You claim all men like the same thing, but I don't like that thing, your article is wrong, you are dumb.”
No, I explicitly and repeatedly state otherwise.
This is what it looks like when all men like the same thing:
And this is what it looks like when men like different things:
This article is intended for intelligent people with good reading comprehension and the ability to understand bar charts, as well as the concept of supply and demand. If you do not meet these criteria, please find a simpler beauty article to read instead of criticizing one you can't follow.
10. “This article is just an elaborate justification of your personal tastes.”
While some of the illustrations have been arbitrarily chosen by the author, the data has not. The reasoning is objective and honest, and applies generally. If you dislike particular models you can indulge in an ad hominem. But it's not that easy to dismiss the conclusions.
And in point of fact, many of the photos were submitted by readers. They don't necessarily represent the author's tastes.
11. “No one believes you and this article isn't helping anyone. Are you just trying to be mean?”
There are two groups who readily accept the truth. The first is men. The second is women who are already very attractive. Both of these groups have firsthand knowledge that what people publicly claim is beautiful isn't what men actually respond to. They're happy to read a coherent explanation of the reality they already see.
However, this article aims to help smart and open-minded women of average attractiveness, as well as women who are victims of an eating disorder. If you're one of these women you may have trouble accepting the truth, even if you recognize it subconsciously. It actually doesn't matter if you believe every claim yet. Keep an open mind and a positive attitude and try the beauty tips above. They will help, and that's the important thing.
12. What is the “monarchiste” body type?
The monarchiste body type is a voluptuous and pronounced hourglass. The term was inspired by a real woman who resembled the model below, and described herself as a monarchiste awaiting the restoration.
This body type is still very popular with men. It was once common in paintings and considered the pinnacle of feminine beauty. But it's particularly ill-served by current fashions. Monarchistes today often dress badly and underestimate their own attractiveness. To rectify this situation, it's worth singling them out for praise with an amusing and historically resonant term.
13. “I want to be a trophy wife in a social circle of wealthy status-seekers. Shouldn't I copy the high-status look promoted by today's media and fashion world instead of the 'truth' you write about?”
Probably. But look out for your husband's secretary.
Some of today's elites are trapped in a negative-sum game where they sacrifice beauty to win status points. This game is refereed by fashion and art critics in places like New York and Milan. I explain how the process works in my companion article "Against Good Taste." Whether you should participate in this negative-sum game is ultimately a question for you to decide. My aim here is to make the truth about feminine beauty explicit, not to make your life choices for you.
Perverse social dynamics mean that beauty lies will always persist to some degree. But by sharing this article you can help to spread the truth, and help more women to look their best. That’s good for men and women alike. So if you know someone who might benefit from learning the truth about feminine beauty, please send them a link, or better yet, be brave and post one on your social media account. Feel free to include the eye-catching infographics below, or the even more eye-catching "perfect shape" infographic here.
If you're a male and don't feel comfortable explaining to women what you find attractive, just show them this article instead. And if you need to maintain an air of respectability, share it with a critical comment like, “This article gets all the facts about feminine beauty right but still somehow totally misses the big picture,” and then go on to explain how you actually prefer average-looking girls.
Unfortunately, the reasoned examination you've read here isn't enough to correct beauty lies on a larger scale. Women's intuitions about feminine beauty are based on the gradual, unconscious assimilation of social cues. By showing young women a vast quantity of fake social cues that are designed to be psychologically potent, modern media has broken their intuitions. It's similar to holding a magnet near a compass.
Only a small minority of women are capable of setting aside these broken intuitions, and their pride, to arrive at the truth. To help the deluded majority a massive social movement would be necessary, strong enough to outweigh both the persuasive power of modern media and the everyday lies men tell for convenience. It would have to rely on propagandistic methods like repetition and signaling, not reason. Such a movement is unlikely to arise any time soon.
And perhaps it's for the best if it never does. The love and lust that surge up from deep within us are the most audible cries of truth in a society dominated by respectable liars. The truth, you see, hasn't agreed to be respectable in all cases; but the respectable have. So it's fitting that they go through life miming a simulacrum of eros, while beauty remains to the rest of us an open secret, whose querulous call awakens us too to other, quieter truths.
It may be irritating to watch others stubbornly clinging to beauty lies, but keep in mind that you can turn their errors to your advantage. You might even consider this, dear female readers, your induction to a secret society.
Today women are taught that it's wrong to make any effort to please the "male gaze." But the male gaze is the most practically important yardstick for feminine beauty. Women who recognize this and learn what men find attractive have an opportunity to snatch the best mates away from their competitors and build stronger, happier, more lasting relationships.
The first and most difficult step is to accept and acknowledge your own faults with good grace. Very few can do this! Then, while other women succumb to illusions and narcissistic delusions, you can get ahead by making use of the information I've presented here.
You don't need to convince anyone with words. Men will react to true beauty instinctively—and you'll win the game that really matters.
Good luck, dear female readers. And now that you’re prepared for your new life as an odalisque, it’s time to travel to the Orient!
For the remarkable tale of my wicked rise to almost absolute power, including bonus tips for the plundering and profitable resale of Occidental virgins, read my Memoirs of an Evil Vizier.
You may also enjoy my article on beauty lies in the art world: Against Good Taste.
Other writing by J. Sanilac
Trust Networks: How We Actually Know Things
Ultrahumanism: How We Can All Win
Critique of the Mind-Body Problem
A Pragmatical Analysis of Religious Beliefs