Dispelling Beauty Lies: Bonus Lookbook

The attractive clothing recommended in Dispelling Beauty Lies is largely absent from today's fashions. To help you style these unfamiliar items I've put together a detailed guide with galleries of inspirational examples.

Chokers

At first chokers sound like an easy magic trick. But be cautious. Using them indiscriminately can end badly. Chokers are much harder to style than other necklaces. That's a big reason why they're worn less frequently even though men find them more attractive. When you choose a choker you need to take special care to integrate it with your ensemble and environment. Furthermore, some of today's most common chokers are dubious. So please read the notes below, and think before you choke.

Consider the three photos below. These models are wearing the same choker, but the left example is excellent, the center example is good, and the right example is poor. The difference lies in how the chokers match the rest of their clothing. Let's take a moment to figure out what's going on here.

Wide single-wrap fabric chokers tend to look formal, or at least suited to an evening event. So the formal black dress at left works perfectly with a stark and simple matching choker. The right model, in contrast, is wearing a boring casual sweater and has notably bad hair. These drab, careless elements clash with the choker, and the result is regrettable. It might seem overbearing to point out her flat, limp, wispy hair, but details matter. Wearing an exciting accessory, especially one that implies formality, with such unexciting hair is incongruous and unpleasant.

The center model, shown again above, is also dressed casually, but not carelessly. Her black top is nicer, and its straight cut sets off the choker in a more appealing way. Her necklace softens the choker and integrates it into the ensemble. Her gray coat and faded jeans counterbalance the black. That's important, because wearing even more black with this choker would look either formal or goth, and out of place for a casual walk down the street. Her dark shoes unify the ensemble by matching bottom to top. Finally, her hair has good volume. All of these careful touches produce a much better result than the underwhelming previous model.

As you can see, you can't just throw this type of choker on and expect it to be a hit. Wide fabric chokers are especially hard to use well. Consider the gallery below. All three of the chokers do work with this white top. And the wide choker at right is striking. But it's also a bit odd. The medium-width center choker is a safer choice. The left necklace is fine too, but it doesn't choke much because the line it draws around the neck is so subtle.

Extra-wide fabric chokers like the one shown next often come off as gimmicky. If you want to make a fashion statement you can wear them occasionally, but I don't recommend them for general use.

Single-wrap fabric chokers blend best with formal and traditional clothing. We've already seen one example of this, but the next gallery shows several more.

Thin, multi-wrap fabric chokers are easier to wear with casual clothes. That said, they're not as compelling as single-wrap chokers done right.

Jeweled chokers are more flexible and easier to style than fabric chokers. However, single-string jeweled "chokers" are usually too low and loose to get the choker effect. The examples below are all pretty, but most are just small necklaces. A choker is supposed to grip the neck. The top center seems to choke the best of this batch.

Multi-string jeweled chokers choke better. These were common historically, though hard to find today. We should bring them back, because they're some of the most effective and usable chokers. The next gallery shows a variety of examples.

Combining multiple chokers or adding normal necklaces to chokers doesn't sound like it would work, but it does. It softens the effect and makes it less stark and formal, helping to blend the choker into your overall look.

Often the best choker is a simple ribbon. The bow can go either in the front or in the back.

If chokers don't suit your personal style, you can still treat them like lingerie for special occasions. This is the easiest way to take advantage of their erotic impact without risking fashion faux pas out in the wild. For instance, you can tie a ribbon choker on at home in the evening as a sexy accessory. If you examine the choker looks shown in this section and don't like any of them, give this a try anyway.

Some choker styles are very specific and only work on the right woman at the right occasion. The next gallery shows examples of these. Once again, this has to do with the combination of choker and top, not just the chokers themselves.

The gallery below shows examples of dubious chokers. While not forbidden, I recommend you avoid these if you have any doubts. Some of the most common choker types sold today are just not very pretty. Presumably fashion designers will be forced to try harder after you make Dispelling Beauty Lies famous by sharing it with all your friends.

I normally aim to provide general advice that's as objective as possible. However, the fashion analysis in this bonus lookbook is inevitably subjective. There's just no way to prove the value of every style, and perceptions may change over time. Thus, for instance, I can't guarantee beyond doubt that the chain-link chokers in the previous gallery look tacky and cheap. I can only report that they seem that way to me. Naturally the final decision on what to wear is up to you.

Remember, the fundamental reason chokers are more attractive than standard necklaces is that they draw a line around the neck, which has a positive architectural effect on how the female face and body are perceived. Choker substitutes like scarves and neckerchiefs also accomplish this, as do some top styles.

The traditional Chinese style below is a particularly notable choker substitute.

However, it's important to understand that when no skin is showing below a high, tight neck, you only get a little of the choker effect. So this style chokes most effectively in the modern versions that include a window. Even a small window does a lot.

Occidental fashion designers are falling down on the job, and would do well to copy these innovative Orientals. However, note that the burgundy dress below gets it wrong. You're probably too distracted by the absolutely horrible tattoos to notice why the dress is so bad, so I'll explain. Its ribbon sits too low to choke, and the window doesn't accomplish much on its own. This is a fashion fail.

Turtlenecks are a plainer style that also chokes a little. They're so easy to use that there's no particular need to demonstrate looks here.

Fashion doesn't follow strict rules, so it's sometimes hard to say exactly why a choker that works in one context fails in another apparently similar context. This guide aims to point you in the right direction, but there's no substitute for good judgment.

Thigh-Highs

Thigh-highs are both more potent and easier to style than chokers. Because they occupy a middle ground between outer clothes and lingerie, you can wear them under any bottoms. They're also less distinctive and less likely to create fatigue, so you can wear them as often as you want without worry. For all these reasons I recommend thigh-highs much more strongly than chokers.

Sadly, at present thigh-highs are treated like novelty items. They're not. They should be considered a standard article of clothing, as readily available as shirts and shoes, and all women should own many pairs. Presumably attitudes will change in the future, though of course I'm not holding my breath.

Provided they follow a few basic rules that I'll articulate in a moment, all thigh-high styles work about equally well. This gives you a huge number of options. Yet today most of these options are hard to find. Furthermore, fashion photography encourages wrong ideas about who can and should wear thigh-highs. It not only fails to illustrate the full variety of looks, it fails to even represent attractive thighs. The wreckers in the beauty industry seem determined to only show thigh-highs on women who are too thin or women who are too thick, leaving the thighs that most women have (and most men want) completely unrepresented.

Unfortunately it's hard to find fashion photography that demonstrates thigh-high looks on women who have an attractive medium weight. Despite this, you shouldn't let the models in the photos I'll be showing confuse you into worrying your legs are too thick to pull thigh-highs off. Below are some imaginative representations to remind you that thick thighs are attractive, and even more so in thigh-highs. If you're in doubt, refer back to this section of Dispelling Beauty Lies.

Thigh-highs work on any woman who has a healthy weight. AI artists depict them often, and in some respects show their potential better than fashion photographers. Consider the following gallery. As you can see, it's easy to integrate these sexy looks into the existing wardrobes of women with average legs.

The box below highlights the basic rules thigh-highs should follow. If you look back at the AI examples we've just seen, you'll notice that they do follow these rules quite consistently.

So thigh-highs should normally come up to the midpoint of the thigh. Below you can see examples that terminate in the wrong place.

The middle example above is fine on a basic fashion level, but for the biggest boost to attractiveness the decorative band at the top of the thigh-highs should normally be centered higher. In this case the white lace band is very wide, making it difficult to get that right. If they were in the ideal position they would cover too much of the thigh, but their location here makes them seem to encircle a point that's too low. To avoid this problem, the band at the top of thigh-highs is best limited to a medium width. The examples below are also rather poor.

In the left example we again see a very wide band, which is less effective at emphasizing the midpoint of the thigh. This isn't necessarily ugly in itself, but it does reduce the impact. Fishnets, like those at right, tend to look trashy. Also, there's no sense in fooling around with sexy accessories before you've optimized your weight.

That said, there are sometimes legitimate reasons to deviate from the basic rules. Either for a variety effect, or to suit particular fashions. The AI example below is rather compelling even though the thigh-highs are low. It's difficult to explain exactly why it works, but it has to do with the way the ensemble fits together. The low position here helps to complete a charming conservative, doll-like look.

The next example is technically too high, but works in this case because it complements the hip cutouts in this one-piece.

The next ensemble works quite well, but higher socks would increase its sex appeal.

To repeat, I'm explaining how to get (or not get) the full boost to attractiveness that thigh-highs can provide. On a purely fashion level many alternatives are fine. And you'll normally get that maximum boost when you follow the standard rules highlighted earlier.

Thigh bracelets have a similar effect to thigh-highs, and more women should give them a try. The problem is that almost none of the thigh bracelets for sale today are any good at all. Draping jewelry below the bracelet, as almost all current varieties do, ruins the effect. The examples below are weak. And this time ugly too.

The next set of bracelets sits too low.

Garters are just a fabric thigh bracelet. And the garters below are once again weak. That's because they're arranged in pairs. We've seen that multi-wrap chokers and chokers mixed with necklaces look good. But this isn't true of thigh bracelets. Multiplying them reduces the impact.

Combining thigh-highs with garters or bracelets is also a dubious idea. That said, the two examples below aren't completely without merit. The styles the right model is wearing are pleasant, and the thigh-highs are low-set, leaving room for the bracelet. This look is memorable and has value for variety. The left matches the color of her bracelet to the color of her cardigan, a clever touch that almost comes off. It remains true that both of these supplementary thigh bracelets weaken the architectural emphasis on the thigh's midpoint, which is the main source of thigh-highs' high sex appeal.

Below you can see two better examples. Unornamented thigh bracelets like the one shown at right are hard to find at present. These particular examples aren't incredibly inspiring, but until fashion designers decide to try harder, it's not easy to find better.

The garter at left would likely be more impactful if it were a little tighter. The AI girl below reminds us of the fundamental goal behind all these accessories. Namely, mark the midpoint of the thigh while also displaying thigh fat with a subtle pinch.

Now let's look at some correct styling examples. Pleated minis complement thigh-highs particularly well. All the examples below are good. Nevertheless, you shouldn't let this classic look distract you from other possibilities. For instance, by wearing thigh-highs under longer skirts you can keep the critical top band hidden until an intimate moment. So midi and maxi skirts are in play as more conservative options that you can wear over thigh-highs anywhere.

You might doubt that casual knit thigh-highs would work, but they're perfectly fine. It's true that they have a bit less sex appeal than other types, but they still get the job done, and they're comfy too.

Even the ballet stockings below mostly work.

In the next gallery are two women modeling high socks. This casual style works quite well, and the two examples create very different impressions. As you can see, there are innumerable ways to style thigh-highs. Don't assume they have to be lacy lingerie.

Where boots are concerned you can be more forgiving about the height requirement. Shorter boots are still quite attractive when well chosen. That said, the top right example has special merit, as it once again encircles the midpoint of the thigh.

The next model's legs are much too thin and her stockings are rather low. However, this is a great example anyway because the combination of red shoes and red lipstick is such a nice touch. Many examples combining thigh-highs and minis are very cute and girlish, but she creates a more sophisticated impression. Without the thigh-highs her look would be less inspiring. It really shows what you can do with this underappreciated article of clothing.

It's also worth pointing out that the bare skin between thigh-highs and minis matters. This area is known as "absolute territory." It can make sense to adjust your thigh-high height away from the normally ideal midpoint to accommodate your skirt length. For instance, the model above would need to raise her skirt hem to have her thigh-highs at the midpoint and still show some thigh skin. This might be impractical, unsuitable for reasons of propriety, or incompatible with the desired ensemble in some other way.

Some claim there are ideal proportions for thigh-high, mini, and absolute territory. These proportions are written on the stockings of the AI image above. I'm not fully convinced by these numbers. Rather than follow a formula, I suggest you use your aesthetic sensibility to determine an amount of absolute territory appropriate to each overall look.

To close out, here's a gallery of miscellaneous photos. I confess that there are fewer spectacular examples on this page than I'd like to show you, with some of the most compelling being AI girls. For instance, the two AI images above are better than any of the images below. I blame the incompetence of the fashion industry for this problem. A better future for feminine beauty, if it arrives, will also bring better applications of sexy styles like chokers and thigh-highs.

I hope this lookbook will help you think harder about how to style the sexy clothing I recommend in Dispelling Beauty Lies. Always remember to think before you choke (or pinch).

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