How To Trick Your Girlfriend Into Being Hotter
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, women pursued the feminine arts of charm, seduction, and beauty willingly and happily. Their skills in these arts were finely honed, the results enchanting and captivating. They lifted the power of true femininity to its greatest heights, inspiring their lovers to perform feats so heroic we can scarcely credit them today. It was an era of abundant pleasure and joy for men and women alike.
Sadly, such fairytale days are long gone. In our modern world an epidemic of aggressive indifference incubated by ideologues and advertisers has steamrolled the fairer sex. Women are now more likely to sabotage their own charm, train themselves in anti-seduction, and chase unattractive but fashionable illusions of beauty cooked up by homosexuals than so much as flutter their lashes at the men they theoretically love best.
In this modern world girlfriends will never improve themselves or their relationships of their own accord. Wives still less. They push away the most helpful advice and are almost magnetically drawn to the worst, twisting their innate feminine instincts into misshapen pretzels for no apparent purpose but to be as unexciting as possible. To compound the problem, any effort to publicly call them back from their sad fate and restore them to the full blush of health is loudly shouted down. Women mock, slander, and derogate honest statements of men's real tastes and affections, and publicly shame anyone who won't affirm their delusions instead. Rapunzel has cut off her hair.
Thus it falls to men, who in the past could freely explore distant oceans and conquer hapless barbarians while entrusting their womenfolk with the amorous arts, to return home and right the capsized ship of love themselves. And yet the only means available to accomplish this difficult but important task are those wisely reserved, in more enlightened times, for exclusive female use: stratagems of deceit, manipulation, and trickery.
Well, what must be must be. So this guide has one simple goal: to explain, step by step, exactly how to trick your girlfriend into being hotter.
No doubt, it sucks to have to do this. Life would be much more pleasant if your lover were, like roses and jasmine, able to open her sweetest flowers to the sun without help from rough hands. But nowadays the important life-goal of having an unusually hot girlfriend just isn't going to be accomplished through fair and pleasant means. If you want the best for your relationship and the remainder of your lives together, you've no choice but to evilly manipulate her into hotness, using whatever underhanded tactics prove most effective. The straight-man's burden is a heavy one, and bear it you must.
Before I continue, I want to make one thing clear. As the author of various little-read essays on beauty and seduction aimed in the general direction of women, I am emphatically not the author of this particular article. I would never stoop to suggesting or endorsing such immoral means in such crude terms, with no higher justification than the almost irresistible end of having a supremely hot girlfriend to call one's own. Every word you read here, every comma and dash, has been whispered or shouted to me by others, often from the wrong shoulder. I'm merely the transcriber and compiler. My male readers have agreed to collectively suggest and test methods for tricking their girlfriends into being hotter, and I've agreed, against my better judgment, to record their suggestions, along with reports on efficacy and the barest minimum of commentary.
In short, this guide to tricking your girlfriend into being hotter is a crowdsourced collage of morally dubious advice I completely disown. And, a work in progress. I'll update it with new information as it arrives. If you try the methods of deception listed herein—whether they succeed or fail—please get in touch and let me know the outcome so I can refine them further.
Now, naturally, I advise you not to tell your girlfriend you're using a crowdsourced guide you found on the internet to manipulate her. That would only make it harder to trick her into doing things she'll enjoy anyway, leaving her less happy in the long run. You see, modern ideology has trained her so well in indifference to your pleasure and preferences that left to her own devices, she won't even pursue feminine charm when it brings her as much happiness as it brings you—which, I note, is normally the case whenever seduction is done right.
They say that all is fair in love. In this spirit the heavens will, perhaps, smile on deceptions most accurately classified as erotic taqiyya. For Occidentals, a traditional metaphor will clarify: to convince your girlfriend to open her presents, you'll need to trick her into to believing in Santa Claus first. Yes, the fact that such deception is necessary is just as stupid as it sounds; but we don't make the rules, do we?
Manipulation Method #1: Just Ask
You probably think “just ask her to be hotter” sounds way too easy to be true. And you're not wrong. If just asking worked smoothly and regularly, I wouldn't need to transcribe this extensive list of manipulative stratagems for the betterment of girlfriendkind.
I've done my best to improve the chances of men who want to try “just ask” by creating both a complete bible of beauty and seduction, known as Dispelling Beauty Lies, and a simple, condensed set of instructions called “101 Ways To Be Prettier, Sexier, And More Seductive.” In theory, you could simply send these to your girlfriend and then lie back and let her go to town tickling your heart up to peaks of excitement you never believed possible on this side of heaven.
Sadly, the gap between theory and practice is rarely bigger than here. In practice, “just ask” has a high failure rate.
I don't counsel you against asking—indeed, it's not a bad starting point—but I don't encourage you to expect success either. And sorry to say, in many cases the feminine reaction to “just ask” is decidedly negative, so the whole tactic backfires in an extremely unfortunate fashion. Remember, women have been programmed to believe very silly and upside-down nonsense about seduction. They can't even recognize accurate seduction instructions when they see them, and the harsh dissonance between reality and their wrongheaded programming leads them to scoff at the former instead of abandoning the latter.
A gentle and recommendable way to dip your toe in before trying “just ask” is to give your girlfriend the beige-lingerie test. This test is simple, easy, and low-risk, and you can find instructions here. Reader reports confirm that when a girlfriend passes the beige-lingerie test with flying colors, the “ask and then praise” method has a reasonable chance of making her hotter—even without any further manipulation. But if she stumbles through it, or worse still, fails entirely, you're likely better safe than sorry.
To be more precise, a B on the beige-lingerie test is an excellent sign, Cs are discouraging, and Ds and Fs are quite ominous. The rare A students are atavisms from brighter days, and likely need no more than a link to my 101 ways to transform themselves into seductresses of unimaginable power; but to be frank, the chance of your girlfriend scoring at the top of her class is exceedingly low.
Before you start to feel too optimistic, I need to point out a more fundamental problem with “just ask.” Men's innate mate-selection strategy, which I've described in detail here, entails a surprisingly powerful mental compulsion against asking. That's because spontaneous seductiveness is one of the best signals of mate quality, and requesting seductiveness cuts off the possibility of that spontaneity. After all, once something is requested it can no longer be spontaneous. So asking amounts to admitting that your mate is second-rate, and worse still, it locks her in to the economy class of girlfriends indefinitely. Yes, I realize it may be necessary. First-rate mates are hard to find these days. But since there are no women here listening, we should at least be honest about it.
For all the above reasons, many and maybe most men will find themselves subconsciously resisting “just ask” from the start, usually without understanding their motive. Some romantic corner of their hearts hopes she'll find my beauty and seduction advice on her own and apply it as a happy surprise, like every worthy girlfriend would have done in the halcyon days of yore. Well, sorry to burst your bubble sweet summer child, but she won't. I've already done my best to entice her to the spontaneous and unmanipulated pursuit of hotness, with little to show for it. Once upon a time men could have expected girlfriends to be deeply interested in the invaluable secrets of seduction I hand out like so much free candy; but in the modern world their disdain is palpable.
You should now see why the “just ask” method of manipulation isn't as great as it initially seemed. And since “just ask” so often doesn't suit or doesn't work, your only recourse is to find—as you will, I pray, later in this guide—subtler ways of tricking your girlfriend into being hotter. Indirect methods can be more satisfying, because the results almost feel spontaneous. They help to create the pleasant illusion that your girlfriend actually cares about you, and make it easier to delude yourself into believing she's the kind of top-quality woman who can be irresistibly hot without a puppet-master pulling her strings behind the scenes.
The first of these indirect methods I should mention, closely related to "just ask," is to trick her into “accidentally” finding my beauty and seduction instructions. You can do this by drawing attention to some minor and anodyne detail in one of my longer articles, and encouraging her attention to linger on it just enough for her to become interested in the more substantial remainder of the ideas presented there. Typically, some small detail in the clothing section of Dispelling Beauty Lies can serve this purpose; but there are many other interesting nuggets scattered throughout my works, and I'll leave the final decision up to you.
This tricksy alternate version of "just ask" is a deceptive stratagem I highly recommend, but in the large majority of cases it's not forceful enough to get the job done. Remember, women today are deeply mired in aggressive indifference, and "here are some ways you could easily be hotter," whether you say it directly or indirectly, is going to be too weak a potion to resurrect their buried feminine impulses from the grave where they've been so deeply buried.
Manipulation Method #2: Just Dump Her
As I pointed out a moment ago, in theory letting your girlfriend know what you like should already be enough to procure it, because in theory a girlfriend likes you and cares about your pleasure. Or at least, any girlfriend worth keeping ought to. And so an obvious solution presents itself if she should ignore your polite hint to follow simple and easy suggestions that would make her hotter. Namely, just dump her.
In many cases, and especially in a relationship that isn't firmly established, “just dump her” is quite clearly the best answer. It saves trouble and time that you can use to find some other candidate who actually cares about you. Nevertheless, this final solution is not one that every man feels comfortable with.
Some men are in committed, long-term relationships. Even married with children. They may have settled into these relationships before understanding the nature of aggressive indifference and anticipating the way it would slowly destroy enjoyment of their married love-life, leaving them saddled with a hopeless future of decline and disinterest from which they can see no escape that doesn't harm their sons and daughters. Other, less trapped men might simply be desperate, and worry that if they dump a moderately attractive girl who doesn't actually like them enough to behave seductively, they won't have what it takes to replace her with someone better. And (according to certain of my readers in a formulation I can't openly endorse) some men may be weak-minded, masochistic feminist cucks who feel that being regularly trampled by their girlfriend's overt indifference is some kind of moral achievement in their favor. For all the men I've described above, “just dump her” remains an unacceptable solution to an admittedly genuine problem.
It's also fair to say that most men in stable relationships will hesitate to resort to “just dump her” before at least trying a few other options. And here the beige-lingerie test is an especially useful tool. If your girlfriend fails the beige-lingerie test with sinking (neutral) colors, she's likely hopeless, in which case “just dump her” may be the fastest exit from a dead-end relationship. D and E students are best expelled early to avoid wasting time and tuition. If her performance is merely mediocre, it's better to experiment with further forms of manipulation and deceit before giving up, because there's a reasonable chance she still has latent potential to be hotter that's been suppressed, but not extinguished, by the corruptive tentacles of our times.
In sum, my readers consider “just dump her” to be an excellent decision for any man who's both smart enough to test his girlfriend before she's settled her claws too deeply into him, and attractive enough to find a replacement easily. But in other cases, it's only a final recourse, not a sensible first resort.
Manipulation Method #3: Frame Hotness As Empowering
Being hotter is empowering. It means, in the most direct sense, that you have more power to catch and satisfy the best mate. Unfortunately, angry lesbian saboteurs in academia and the media have trained your girlfriend to view feminine hotness as disempowering—precisely because it makes you happy!
I'm disappointed to report that “frame hotness as empowering” is a stratagem with a near-zero success rate, precisely because it's actually true. One basic principle most experienced men seem to agree on is that telling the truth has never persuaded any woman of anything whatsoever. As usual, I note this claim without endorsing it. Regardless, I have not yet heard of a single instance where correctly informing a girlfriend that hotness is empowering has elicited even a tiny improvement.
Manipulation Method #4: Inspire Dread
Inspiring dread is a stratagem that can lead to real successes. For instance, one reader informs me that just by getting into shape and attracting attention from other women, he was able to scare his wife into making herself far hotter than she'd ever been before.
To understand why this worked, we need to break it down, because there are really two things happening here. First, getting into shape; and second, attracting enough attention from other women to scare his girlfriend hotter. These two things can easily go together, but they're not at all the same.
Staying in shape is nothing less than a basic prerequisite if you expect to have a hot girlfriend. Sure, there are some fat slobs in Hollywood who continually gallivant around with hot girls. But that's because they have a ridiculous level of fame and pockets deep enough to afford a continual supply private jets, island getaways, and escorts. You, dear reader, are not one of the hundred richest and most famous entertainers in the world, and down here on planet earth, girls aren't much more attracted to fat slobs than you are. That doesn't mean you need to be a male model, but there are still baseline standards to be met. If you let yourself go, your girlfriend won't feel any motivation to become or even stay hot for you. Instead she'll let herself go too. This process of mutually letting go is how so many couples slip into sexual comas in middle age, long before Mother Nature calls time on sex appeal.
On its own, staying in shape doesn't actually qualify as inspiring dread, or even as a manipulation method of any kind. If you're unfit you need to turn yourself around before you waste time on any of the tricks listed in this article, because without a reasonable basic foundation, they're nearly useless.
Now, as for attracting the attention of other women purely to inspire dread in your current partner—that certainly does qualify as a method of manipulation, and it can indeed trick your girlfriend into being hotter. Of course, you have to inspire dread in the right way, which isn't nearly as easy as it sounds.
If you overtly pursue other women in your girlfriend's presence, you're unlikely to accomplish anything positive at all. What you need to do instead is make it look like other women are chasing you, and particularly other women who are attractive enough to have a reasonable shot of stealing you from her. Bonus points when they're obviously hotter than her. That will strike fear into your current girlfriend's heart if she cares about you at all. And truth be told, fear isn't the only relevant aspect of her reaction. Equally important is the fact that the attractive women pursuing you awaken her competitive instincts. She'll hate to be upstaged by hotties—hate it even if she doesn't care about you at all.
These last words reveal a hidden danger in the “inspire dread” stratagem. After you realize your girlfriend does care enough about competing with other women to make herself hotter, but doesn't care enough about you to make herself hotter in the absence of external competition, you'll experience a deep and abiding disappointment. Congratulations: you now have a hotter girlfriend. You successfully manipulated her by inspiring dread, and taken on its own, that's a win. But this win comes at the steep price of knowing just how little she really cares. In the long run, it may feel like a pyrrhic victory. You'll spend the rest of your lives together wondering whether you wouldn't have been better off with one of those other girls after all.
Needless to say, this disappointing denouement could have been entirely avoided if your girlfriend had just followed my beauty and seduction advice on her own initiative from the start—but by the time she realizes her mistake, it will be too late to correct it.
And that, dear readers, is why I hesitate to recommend “inspire dread” as a first port of call when you're ready to trick your girlfriend into being hotter. Whether it works perfectly or not.
Manipulation Method #5: Buy Her Clothes
“In theory” is a phrase I have to use a lot in this guide. This is just a symptom of the fallen times in which we live. In theory your girlfriend should be choosing your clothes. Not that this is a necessity, but most men have a dreadful fashion sense and desperately need help. However, in practice, you're going to need to choose her clothes, because she's miraculously trained herself to be even worse at it.
I know this sounds implausible to you, but she's read all kinds of nonsense purporting to be an aesthetic justification for wearing the least attractive colors and avoiding the most attractive items, and actually believed it. She's been convinced that she looks better in tan dresses than pink ones. Tan! It's ludicrous. As I've already explained, advertising and ideology have tied your girlfriend's innate feminine instincts into a pretzel, and if you explain that camo colors are fine on men but ugly on women, she simply won't listen.
Now, if you're like most males, you're not competent to pick out actual clothes. Even basic color words like "mauve" elude you. Fortunately some of the best accessories are dead simple. The most important of these are thigh-high stockings. A large majority of men agree that thigh-high stockings are extremely attractive, and indeed better than nothing even in the bedroom. That's high praise indeed. Yet few women ever wear them in their entire lives. This is a sad state of affairs that desperately needs to be corrected; and thanks to your willingness to manipulate your girlfriend into being hotter, you can be the one to jumpstart the correcting.
You're going to have to buy her the thigh-highs. Yes, I know she should be the one to buy them and it would be much more seductive and charming if she did it herself. But, like most women today, she simply won't. Life is disappointing, eh?
You probably don't know much about buying women's clothes, so I'll give you a few pointers. First, thigh-highs need to come up to the midpoint of the thigh to look their best. With this in mind, you should measure your girlfriend's leg from her heel to that midpoint while she's stretched out sleeping. Most thigh-highs for sale today are too short, so err on the side of too long.
Thigh-highs don't need to be the lacy lingerie kind to work. Thigh-high socks have a great effect and come in many colors and styles. How well they'll stay up is variable, depending on both the item itself and the shape of your girlfriend's thighs. For lingerie thigh-highs, you'll often need to order a garter belt too. Yes, there is such a thing as sock glue, but that might be a tough sell for her first time.
At present most women don't seem to be aware that wearing only thigh-highs is often more attractive than wearing nothing at all. So if your girlfriend hasn't read the clothing advice in Dispelling Beauty Lies, this is a point you'll probably have to explain to her directly.
As for manipulating her into wearing her new thigh-highs often, as she should, that's a tougher project. One suggestion from readers is to claim they make her look thin. Due to a barrage of misinformation in the media, women today are confused about their weight, and wrongly assume "thinner is better" always holds. Since you belong to the sex that's attracted to thick thighs, you obviously know this isn't true, but that doesn't mean she knows. Nevertheless, I'm skeptical about this approach. Clearly it reinforces wrong ideas, and I think in the majority of cases it will be a mistake that creates a bad atmosphere. Perhaps it's suitable for short-term relationships with women who aren't worthwhile enough to justify the arduous process of correcting their delusions about ideal bodyfat levels. But unless I receive solid reader reports that it works consistently, which I haven't yet, I'm going to hold off on endorsing it.
A more straightforward approach is simple praise. Once she has them on, tell her how great they look. Show more than the usual enthusiasm. Obviously, this should be easy. And it has diagnostic value as well. If your girlfriend makes her indifference apparent by neglecting the thigh-highs you just bought her even after you praise them and react with unusual enthusiasm, you know it's time to reconsider whether manipulation method #2 (just dump her) might really be your best option after all.
There's a third option for tricking her into wearing her thigh-highs often, but since it has broader relevance, I'm saving it for the next section.
Thigh-highs might be the most important article of clothing, but they're not the only hotness-boosting item you can manipulate your girlfriend into wearing. Chokers also qualify as one of the most attractive accessories. And that's probably why your girlfriend has no interest in ever wearing one.
It goes without saying that a woman could increase her attractiveness in five seconds flat just by putting on a choker; but my readers confirm that in the mind of a modern female, even five seconds is too much time and effort to spend looking more attractive for her lover. So, if you ever expect to see your girlfriend in a choker, you'll have to trick her. Fortunately I can offer you an especially easy stratagem to get the job done.
Before I list the steps, it's useful to understand some basics. The important thing about chokers isn't how they're designed, but that they cover one of the green beautification bands shown in the first chart here. The dog-collar chokers many people think of first are perhaps the worst kind of choker out there. A choker should make your girlfriend look like a magnificent present waiting to be unwrapped, not like an animal! And with this metaphor in mind, it isn't hard to understand why simple ribbon chokers are such a great idea.
To trick your girlfriend into wearing a simple and beautiful ribbon choker, follow these steps. First, buy her a few presents. It doesn't really matter what the presents are. But instead of wrapping them carelessly and clumsily, as you normally would, wrap them each up in nice ribbons. The ribbons should be high quality, pretty, and feel pleasant against the skin.
Now present your gifts to her at some kind of special event, such as a holiday, birthday, or anniversary, when it's just the two of you. After she's opened them, playfully tell her that you want a special present too; and as you finish saying this, pick up one of the ribbons from where she's discarded it (don't let her throw them in the trash can) and tie it around her neck with a neat bow (as if you're tying your shoes). Your girlfriend now looks much hotter than she really wants to—and she can't take her new choker off until you do it for her.
Don't unwrap your new present too quickly. Instead, find some way to interrupt the opening ceremony. Pour a drink and tell her you like the anticipation. Or delay with dinner. The goal here is to enjoy seeing her in a choker and to get her used to wearing it. If she tries to take it off early, inform her that she's not allowed to unwrap your present for you. When you finally do take the choker off, leave it on her bedside table. That leaves you an opportunity to get her wearing it again in the future. You should also toss any extra ribbons into her lingerie drawer before she has a chance to throw them in the trash can.
Dreaming of a better world—one where your girlfriend would love you enough to spend multiple seconds looking sexy for you on her own initiative—only leads to disappointment at the depressing reality of our fallen times. But thanks to this amazing guide, tricking her into being hotter against her will turns out to be easier than you ever imagined possible.
Manipulation Method #6: Make It Sound High Class
Some women obsess over social class even in the circumstances where it's least relevant. For instance, your bed. My readers confirm that tricking such women into believing the behaviors and clothes that make them hotter also make them seem high class is a proven method of manipulation. Now, not every girlfriend is susceptible to this stratagem; but if yours is a spiritually empty social climber with weak fundamental values, it's a pretty safe bet.
You and I know, of course, that "high class" has little to do with genuine beauty or seduction (or art, for that matter). But here we're not concerned with whether the claims you make to your girlfriend are relevant, or even true. We're only concerned with whether they're effective at manipulating her into being hotter. If your girlfriend were doing her girlfriendly duty in the amorous arts, you wouldn't need to be deceiving her to hotness in the first place. So in a very real sense, your Machiavellian twisting of the truth is just a pious effort to repair her damaged moral fiber and revive her missing capacity for affection. Of course, it will likely fail at most or all of that goal, but on an ethical level, it's the thought that counts.
"It looks high class" can be more widely useful for another reason only indirectly related to class. Some women suffer from a Madonna-whore complex, and wrongly assume that sexy clothes like thigh-highs will make them seem cheap and trashy. By pointing out how classy these clothes make her look, you can begin the long process of extricating her from a damaging psychological complex that's putting a completely unnecessary ceiling on her hotness.
My readers have also proposed a way to deepen and strengthen this stratagem. As a preface, they sometimes wonder whether women's "friends" are ever really friends. For instance, female "friends" will regularly sabotage each other with terrible beauty advice like "your short haircut looks so cute." The solution to this perennial puzzle is academic; what matters to us presently is that women compete with their friends in cases where men would collaborate and cooperate.
In light of this "friendly" competition, some men report that "it makes you look higher class than your friends X and Y" is a particularly effective formulation for inciting their girlfriends to maximum effort—the equivalent of a red flag for a bull. Obviously there are stronger versions still, which amount to waving that red flag violently at the bull. For instance, "If you wore that [hot accessory], you could look as classy as your friend X!" (implying that without it, she's only second best). What women really need, I'm told, is to be negatively compared to other women; and without such a competitive impetus, their love lives are scarcely distinguishable from those of certain immobile marine invertebrates.
This refinement of the stratagem does sound admirably manipulative, and I've no doubt that it can work on occasion. However, I'm still waiting for confirmation from more readers before I recommend it as a reliable formula for tricking your girlfriend into being hotter. For now, I think a straightforward "that looks so classy!" is your safest bet. E.g. "Wow, those new thigh-highs make you look seriously high class!" Etc., etc.
I've previously mentioned the unexpected disappointment that can befall you after successfully manipulating your girlfriend to hotness, but I feel obliged to cite it again here. The success of this "tell her it's high class" stratagem will eventually leave any intelligent and reflective man feeling very jaded, because it reveals the extent to which modern women value the ladder of status, competition, and indeed consumerism over love. Their hearts are like empty Louis Vuitton bags. Nevertheless, in these fallen times we should do our best to look on the bright side. If you can have either a loveless and spiritually empty girlfriend who's not hot, or a loveless and spiritually empty girlfriend who is hot—isn't it obvious that the latter is a massive improvement?
Thus, assuming yours is the kind of girlfriend who's susceptible to this stratagem, and you're nevertheless determined to keep her until her beauty fades and her vapid heart becomes too glaring to ignore, there's really no reason not to have at it.
Manipulation Method #7: Quit Saying Retarded Things
This mostly doesn't count as a manipulation method, but it needs to be emphasized nonetheless. Because men haven't given beautification much thought, when they opine on it they often put their feet in their mouths in distinctly counterproductive ways. The effect of routinely saying retarded things about beauty is to trick your girlfriend into being less hot instead of more. Yep, that's correct: your own vocal retardation is getting in the way of your girlfriend's hotness.
The most common retarded thing men say about beauty is that they don't like makeup. Now, with four billion men in the world, there are going to be some who genuinely don't like makeup. But almost all of the men who think they don't like makeup actually just prefer the "natural" makeup look over the "loud" makeup look (e.g. red lipstick and intense eyeshadow). Sure, they might like the sound of "no makeup," but they don't like the appearance of it. The reason they're confused is that they haven't learned to distinguish "natural-look" makeup from no makeup. To set you straight I've linked a very heavy "natural-look" makeup example that should make the presence of cosmetics obvious to even the most myopic men. The real-life examples you encounter will be more subtle.
Despite a few common errors, which I've discussed here, girlfriends do get important elements of makeup and hair right, and when they put effort into these they succeed in making a real improvement. Discouraging them with ignorant claims about how you are a purist and "prefer zero-effort natural beauty" when you actually don't at all just ends up making your girlfriend less hot than she could be. Either she will make zero effort at your request, reducing her hotness significantly, or she will decide that you are, indeed, as retarded as you seem, and ignore your other beautification requests too—some of which are perfectly valid. After all, why would she trust you when you tell her that a cute pink dress would be more attractive than the burlap sacks in her closet if you also appear to believe that women are born wearing mascara?
Thus, instead of ignorantly announcing you don't like makeup, you should always say that you don't like "loud" or "overdone" makeup. If, that is, you really don't. There's nothing wrong with loud makeup in principle, and most men prefer it, as evinced by the fact that the majority of glamour models wear much heavier than normal makeup. (Vocally praising your girlfriend's loudest makeup as "very cool" is an easy, low-hanging manipulation tactic for men who do find it attractive.)
Although it's a more controversial topic that still leaves many people in denial, the same principles hold for cosmetic surgery too. Yes, I'm aware that some men are morally opposed to it. I'm not going to waste time arguing over that point in an article dedicated to the higher goal of manipulating your girlfriend to be maximally hot against her will. The fact remains that as far as visual beauty is concerned, well-executed and well-chosen cosmetic surgery works very well and increases hotness markedly. The reason most men believe otherwise is that the worst results are the most obviously fake, whereas the best results appear to be natural even if they're too good to have any chance of being true. Thus, men typically categorize good surgical outcomes as "natural" even when it's totally ridiculous to do so. In most cases the attractive models whose photos they send viral with many millions of views have had work done. To correct your confusion on this issue, consider these six examples of successful cosmetic surgery.
If you're morally opposed to surgery, that's fine and you can say so. But stop announcing that it "doesn't work" when it obviously does, and the models saved on your phone have had it. The contradiction between your claims and your revealed preferences makes your pronouncements on sex appeal seem worthless and irrelevant in the ears of a girlfriend who can recognize the procedures those models have had, and discrediting yourself in this way hampers your efforts to herd her toward hotness even if you don't want her to have any work done—and, needless to say, especially if you secretly do. Which, let's be honest, is often the case for men who've bothered to inform themselves.
Next I'll address a form of vocal retardation that has, unlike the previous instances, very thoroughly confirmed manipulative merit. It's standard practice to repeat obvious lies like "more than a handful is too much," even though a solid 80% of men prefer breasts that are bigger than their hands, and in some cases bigger than their arms too. When your girlfriend's endowments are particularly underwhelming from top to bottom, it's common to go further still and claim that you're one of the mythical "leg men," who probably exist on Atlantis but have not yet shown up in my beauty data. Since women aren't reading the present article, we don't have to beat around the bush here: "bigger is better" is the most concise summary of the reality of male tastes, and the men who dissent from this the loudest have, shall we say, a disproportionate fascination with youth.
However, as every man knows, telling your girlfriend that her small- or medium-sized breasts and flat butt are ideal greases her wheels, and in general makes her a whole lot easier to manipulate, whereas even hinting at the truth is a sure way to elicit insane shrieks of reproof. As long as you're not holding out hope that she opts for implants one day, praising her mediocre curves beyond their true value is, my readers inform me, every man's indispensable default tactic for very good reason, and in an article devoted to underhanded manipulation I couldn't possibly counsel you against it.
Nevertheless, I'd like to point out that these standard lies, though eminently useful for establishing psychological control over your current girlfriend, cause a net reduction in the hotness of women in general, and perhaps your future girlfriends in particular—both because they support the persistence of an upside-down hierarchy of beauty that ranks the boring flat girls usually chosen to model clothes over the curvaceous beauties men really want, and because they push away the potential future girlfriends you'd enjoy best if you happened to use manipulation method #2 (just dump her) on your current, less inspiring girlfriend.
Considering this, I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest that when you're posting on the internet out of your girlfriend's sight, you should avoid being vocally retarded, and direct praise toward genuine attractiveness instead—without, of course, in any way cutting back on your habit of blatantly lying to your girlfriend's face about the perfection of her actually pretty underwhelming sexual features.
I'll note in passing that some incel trolls repeat false claims about beauty intentionally, just to hurt women as much as possible or stir up outrage on social media. For instance, they praise excessively thin women that men with healthy testosterone levels find uninteresting, with no goal but to make truly attractive women feel paranoid about their bodies. Since these are instructions in manipulating your girlfriend, no incel trolls should be reading them, and there's hence no need for me to dwell on how harmful this sort of uglifying foolishness is to any man who aspires to trick his girlfriend into being hotter. Pro-uglification trolls should be mocked for the vandals they are, and happily you, dear reader, are not one of them.
Real troll or fake troll? You be the judge.
Manipulation Method #8: "Admit" It
Perhaps the most memorable stratagem for tricking your girlfriend into being hotter is to stage a "confession." In other words, pretend that you've been holding back some overwhelming desire, but suddenly trust her enough that you can't stop yourself from letting it out.
An example will clarify. Suppose you're watching a movie together, and somewhere in the movie there's a girl wearing a pleated miniskirt (one of the most attractive articles of clothing, which, predictably, women today go out of their way to avoid wearing). After the movie you can "admit" that pleated miniskirts are a huge turn-on for you, and that you've always tried to imagine having a girlfriend who would wear one, but never trusted anyone enough to say so before.
This "admission" is potent for several reasons. First, the fact that you present it as an expression of trust impresses her with her own trustworthiness (remember, this is a modern girlfriend we're talking about, so everything is about her), distracting from the fact that what you're really asking is for her to become hotter than she's ever given you any reason to believe she wants to be.
Second, your "admission" makes the eroticism of your target outcome especially convincing and memorable. Modern women, as we've already established, have totally backward ideas about beauty and seduction, and really don't know, and won't even believe when you tell them explicitly, how much things like pleated miniskirts increase their hotness. As far as women are concerned, anything the top celebrities aren't modeling for them doesn't even exist. (You've probably noticed those celebrities are a total waste of space who promote bad behavior and flagrant beauty errors for no discernible purpose but to make everyone else's lives more miserable.) However—by phrasing your desire as a reluctant confession, you can outflank her insistent ignorance and drive home the point that, yes, pleated miniskirts, or whatever else it is you're asking for, are indeed very hot—so much so that she might even consider wearing them more than once. (If she doesn't, refer back to method #2.)
Now, pleated miniskirts, while indeed shunned by today's girlfriends due to their genuine hotness, are a rather tame example. If you feel up for a real manipulative challenge, you could try the same "admission" trick with something much more important. For instance, fellatio. That said, I don't yet have enough reader reports that this promising confessional stratagem is as powerful and effective as one might hope; and until that changes, aiming for a home run of such magnitude right off the bat is a high-risk endeavor I hesitate to endorse.
As for how many times you can repeat the "admit it" stratagem without her catching on to your manipulation and sloughing off the rest of your efforts to make her hotter like a sea snake changing its skin in an Antarctic current, I again, as yet, have no idea. This is why it's so important that readers like you report their successes and failures. Collecting, characterizing, and confirming the most potent devious tricks is the only chance men have at manipulating their girlfriends into doing even a small fraction of the things that all women—in the lost Eden where they dwelt before modern delusion afflicted them with cases of terminal myocardial petrification so widespread as to render individual diagnosis redundant—were once happy to do of their own accord.
Manipulation Method #9: Adjust Her Algorithm
Social-media algorithms have a disturbing amount of power to control the direction of society, and the beliefs of girlfriends in particular; and as best I can tell, what the people behind these algorithms mainly want is to accelerate the destruction of everything you hold dear while filling their pockets with as much money as possible. Of course, they can't always have both those things at the same time, but they're willing to make small compromises to ensure they succeed, in the long run, at creating the worst of all possible worlds. It's therefore easy to understand why online algorithms encourage both your girlfriend's aggressive indifference and her penchant for wasting most of her free time buying useless things in excessive quantities.
Now, my readers propose that adjusting these algorithms might subliminally provoke an increase in her hotness. The stratagem they recommend is just as simple as you imagine. When your girlfriend's away from her phone for a few minutes (longer is obviously too much to ask), quickly use it to access the internet, and start running searches for whatever sexy articles of clothing you like best. Make sure, in particular, to click through to online shops, and preferably those that advertise the most insistently. You should also look up these shops on any social-media networks she's subscribed to, again making sure to click on links that will convince their algorithms she's in the market for a purchase. After you're done, delete the local history of your machinations.
Whether you delete it or not, our overlords, whom I won't name here, will still retain the entirety of "her" browsing history, and use it to track and control her in whatever way they believe best contributes to the increase of their own already excessive power. The difference this time is that you're using their wicked overreach to your own benefit. Surreptitiously adjusting your girlfriend's algorithm will alter the advertisements she's shown, so they at least momentarily reflect attractive clothes and accessories rather than the unpleasant ones she would normally buy.
It's a clever stratagem, and if you use it carefully and in moderation, so the ads that target her appear to have arisen organically and she never suspects that you've been driving them (start your algorithm adjustment in very small doses and ramp up slowly to camouflage your work), then I don't see any possible objections. However, while harmless, likely beneficial on net, and therefore worth dabbling in when you have an idle moment, I advise you against expecting great results.
Remember that today's girlfriends have been obedience-trained by the powers that be to always pick the least attractive choices among the options they see. If you find a way to show the typical girlfriend a pretty pink lace bra being displayed on a table with a brown tablecloth, she will buy the brown tablecloth, try to wear it as a toga, and dismiss the lace bra as “uncomfortable and only for camgirls.” This might be an exaggeration, but in principle, it's accurate. To undo her extensive training in unpleasantness you'll need to train her in reverse, using repetition and reinforcement. That means you'll likely have to repeat your algorithm adjustments over and over for months, until the new advertisements appear consistently enough and long enough to make a dent in her damaged psychology; and even then, success isn't guaranteed. You can give it a try and hope for a lucky early win. But if that early win doesn't come, you probably won't feel enthusiastic about sinking in enough of your time to translate an algorithm adjustment into an attitude adjustment. Especially after you consider the limited upside.
This limited upside is an important issue I need to linger on here for the sake of clarity. Throughout these manipulation instructions I've been citing clothing and accessories in my examples. That might lead you to believe that I assign them much greater importance than they really have. To the contrary. I've chosen these as examples only because they're the simplest and easiest targets when it comes to tricking your girlfriend into being hotter. They are the low-hanging fruit. I'm well aware their effect size is modest. For instance, in my 500-point Seduction Quiz, all the clothing items together only account for around 40 points, or 8% of the total. That's not meaningless. But it's nowhere near sufficient to turn a grouchy mouse into an odalisque.
The problem is that the changes which really make a difference when it comes to your girlfriend's hotness—like using attractive motions, initiating sex more often, offering oral on a regular basis, being more exciting in bed, and so forth—are the most difficult to bring about. Until her friends start openly bragging about their superior fellatio technique and enthusiasm for cowgirl, it's going to be a tall order to expect even the powerful lever of envious feminine competitiveness to elicit notable improvements in your girlfriend's hotness. Considered in this light, you can see that the "adjust her algorithm" stratagem is useless for inciting real leaps in sex appeal.
Worse still, putting too much weight on an ad-driven campaign risks fanning the flames of consumerism (another nearly ubiquitous disease in modern women, recently measured at a higher incidence rate than the Epstein-Barr virus) when consumerism is, in the larger picture, a negative influence that distracts and detracts from genuine hotness more than it contributes to the beauty of a girlfriend's ornamentation.
These last paragraphs are perhaps a bit harsh. I don't mean to dissuade you from adjusting your girlfriend's algorithm. In fact, I think you should give it a shot. But, it's important to have good perspective on what really adds heat, and not lose sight of your higher goal: tricking your girlfriend into becoming a hotter woman than she presently wants you to ever experience in your entire life.
Manipulation Method #10: Praise Potential
We've already seen how women's tendency to compete with other women, and especially with their "friends," can push them into a pursuit of hotness their hearts were too hollow to fuel. However, one reader has offered a different and seemingly contradictory perspective on the use of inter-female comparisons.
The idea is that when you encounter a woman who's hotter than your girlfriend and doing something strikingly right—for instance, walking with an attractive gait—you should turn to your girlfriend, and, rather than praising this hottie directly to incite her jealousy, say instead, "Wow, you would look so good if you did that." I summarize this stratagem as "praise potential," but as you can see, there's more to it than just potential.
On reflection, this stratagem doesn't contradict our earlier observation that inciting competition can trick girlfriends into becoming hotter. It builds on that observation by adding two more components, for a total of three, which all work together. The "praise potential" stratagem (1) inspires your girlfriend to picture herself being hotter, while (2) encouraging her with a reminder that she has the potential to be hotter if she tries, and (3) it indirectly, and in a way that doesn't reflect poorly on your tactfulness, draws her attention to the fact that some other woman is currently hotter than her. Thus, the fact that she's fallen behind her competition hovers in the background as a spur to action without any need for you to point it out directly. By contrast, simply saying, "I wish I were going home with that woman with the sexy walk instead of a girlfriend who won't even bother to do trivially easy hotness-boosting things to make my brief life more pleasant," although rationally conveying about the same meaning, would, given the nature of the female mind, do more harm than good in the majority of cases.
"Praise potential" is one of the easiest girlfriend-manipulation methods, and I'm impressed by its elegance. I'm still waiting on more reports that it brings good results in practice, but as the risk of a negative outcome seems low, I see no reason why you shouldn't try it whenever the occasion next presents itself instead of delaying to wait for proof that will, I hope, be soon forthcoming.
To be continued . . .
How To Trick Your Girlfriend Into Being Hotter is a crowdsourced work in progress definitely not written by J. Sanilac, the infamous author of Dispelling Beauty Lies, Memoirs of an Evil Vizier, Trust Networks, and many underappreciated works of musical genius. I need your help to finish it. Please follow me on social media to suggest new methods of manipulation and deceit, and report on your success or failure at tricking your girlfriend into hotness. In the long run, everyone with a girlfriend will benefit.
I especially want to hear from you if you can confirm the success of any methods not already included in the current list, which consists of:
Manipulation Method #1: Just Ask
Manipulation Method #2: Just Dump Her
Manipulation Method #3: Frame Hotness As Empowering
Manipulation Method #4: Inspire Dread
Manipulation Method #5: Buy Her Clothes
Manipulation Method #6: Make It Sound High Class
Manipulation Method #7: Quit Saying Retarded Things
Manipulation Method #8: "Admit" It
Manipulation Method #9: Adjust Her Algorithm
Manipulation Method #10: Praise Potential
Also by J. Sanilac
Trust Networks – how we actually know things
Ultrahumanism – a middle path through the jungle of modern and future technology
Dispelling Beauty Lies – the truth about feminine beauty, including practical advice for women
101 Ways To Be Prettier, Sexier, and More Seductive - simple tips for fast results
Critique of the Mind-Body Problem – it's not solvable
A Pragmatical Analysis of Religious Beliefs – are pragmatism and belief opposites?
Against Good Taste – aesthetics and harmful social signaling
GIMBY – a movement for low-density housing
The Illusion of Dominance – why the redpill is wrong
End Attached Garages Now – a manifesto
The Computer-Simulation Theory Is Silly – GPWoo
Thirty Favorite Images from Dispelling Beauty Lies - the author's personal selection
Milgram Questions – what they are and how to call them out
Amor Fatty – how an obesity cure will end the body positivity movement
How to Seduce a Billionaire – 100% guaranteed* method
Ailom – how AI permanently makes everything less meaningful